Sunday, August 21, 2011

Anger Management

We all have those days, don't we?  
Those days that start off on the wrong side of the bed and go downhill from there?  
You stub your toe on the way to the kitchen for that second cup of coffee which you proceed to spill because you bumped into that same damn branch again while getting into your car that you can barely back out of your driveway because some snapperhead in a truck from the city has blocked half of it and then once you do get on the road some idiot pulls out in front of you and slows down despite the fact that there is no traffic behind you then you finally get to the gym and you have to wait for every machine only to bang your head standing back up to change the weight on it and then you're finally done save for a quick stop at the store on the way home only to find screeching babies on every single aisle but the store just so happens to be out of what you went there for in the first place and all you want to do is get home because surely you'll be safe there having forgotten about the branch and the coffee and your stubbed toe and you walk into home sweet home and find the rat or bird your dog has killed in your absence and once you've got it cleaned up there's no hot water to wash your hands so you go to check the pilot light on the water heater only to find out it's leaking and it's just barely noon?
You know, those days?

We all have heard the saying, "Patience is a virtue," and I've always felt a bit guilty that it's a virtue I lack.  Naturally, having had one of those days, I decided to double check...I couldn't recall having ever actually been taught that.  Guess what?!?  As a Catholic?  I'm off the hook for patience!!!  I feel SO much better!  

Per the Vatican, the 7 Virtues are made up of the 4 Cardinal Virtues and 3 Theological Virtues.
Cardinal Virtues:
Theological Virtues:

I don't see patience ANYWHERE on that list.  The 7 GIFTS of the Holy Spirit?  Wisdom, understanding, counsel, fortitude, knowledge, piety, and fear of the Lord. Still no patience.  Dodged a bullet there!

So, as I no longer feel the need to focus on patience, how does one deal with one of those days?  Everyone deals differently.  Food, drink, exercise, shopping, going to the shooting range, etc.  But some days, all you want to do is break something!  It doesn't even matter what, you want to be one of those people on TV or in movies that throws things that shatter when they're mad...but that little voice inside us reminds us that whatever we break, we will have to clean up and we break nothing, clench our teeth and try to sublimate our rage and frustration...because "Patience is a Virtue."  Now that we know that isn't the case...

Time for a little 
Anger Management, Princess Style
Step 1:  Head straight away to the Dollar Store
Step 2:  Load up on inexpensive dishes and glassware
(buy extra so you always have a stash in case of emergency)
Step 3:  Choose a target.
(inside of the trash can is best for no clean up 
but a fence or wall with a broom nearby can be more satisfying)
Step 4:  Throw your inexpensive breakables 
at your target until your rage dissipates. 

This has been a public service announcement.  You're welcome!


1 comment:

  1. Oh mu goodness I love this! Thanks;) I have had several of those days the past few weeks!