Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Vote for HEATHER!!!

It is rare in life that we meet someone who truly inspires us.  Heather is one of those people.  Heather and I (I won't say how long ago, because...DAMN! It makes me feel old.)  graduated high school together.  She is one of the nicest, most thoughtful people I know (and a complete smart-ass).  You all know that I am a huge sport's nut and that I take my Philadelphia home teams very seriously.  But Heather...well, she is the second biggest Phillies Phan I have ever seen!  My Grams was the biggest...I have yet to see Heather burst into tears when the Phils lose or someone says something mean about them...though if she does, I'll promote her to soon as I'm done laughing at her.
It's still hard to believe, that 3 short years ago, she was healthy as a...well, she might get mad if I call her a horse...but you get the idea.  What a difference a year makes.  In 2010, Heather was diagnosed with Stage 3 Breast Cancer.  In her own words:

"I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me. That is the mantra I have been living my life for the past two years. In 2010, at the age of 37, I was diagnosed with Stage III Breast cancer. I had a bi-lateral mastectomy, chemo and radiation that summer. I sat in the chemo chair, bald and always wearing my Phillies hat. If I couldn't get out of bed, I wore a Phillies shirt. I bleed Red, not just any Red, Phillies Red. In Feb 2011, we found out that I had two large tumors the size of honeydew melons in my abdomen. In May of last year, I had a total abdominal hysterectomy, where we found that the cancer had spread and was now Stage IV. I can't let this bring me down. A PET scan in July 2011, found more tumors in my adrenals and Kidneys. A new drug is keeping them at bay and so far, they haven't grown any larger. The Phillies fighting spirit has kept me through each hurdle. If I have a lot of pain, I keep my next home game as my goal to get out of bed and keep moving. I keep thinking of Tug- You Gotta Believe. I believe in myself and my family and my doctors. I am going to rally in the 9th and knock this out of the park!! A new Phillies season begins and I have another PET scan in May. Its time to tie up the laces, and get out my bat, step up to the plate and give this cancer a ride right on the sweet spot. I have cancer but cancer doesn't have me."

The Phillies are looking for an Honorary Bat Girl for Mother's Day...a Breast Cancer Survivor.  Heather is so much more than just a "Survivor."  She is a fab wife...lucky amazing mother...lucky Alex...and a Phantastic Phriend...lucky ME!!!  (Hey, look!!!  I found a way to make it about me!!!  SCORE!!!)  I don't know anyone who is more deserving than Heather to be recognized on the field of Citizens Bank Part! 
Here's where you come in...PLEASE follow this link and vote for HNH911!!! as often as you can and tweet/blog/facebook this link!!!  Let's show a wonderful woman, one that I count myself lucky to call friend, that we care and support her and Breast Cancer Survivors everywhere!!!

Thanks so much!!!

Sunday, March 25, 2012

Mullet Hunting (pt 2) and a Marley Lilly Giveaway!

Cooter and I hope you are enjoying the pictures and we're here today for you to meet Cooter and have a Marley Lilly Giveaway!!!

 In my family, rubber duckies are must have accessories.  There isn't a party or event or Tuesday that isn't made better by a rubber duck.  In the case of mullet hunting...a rubber duckie may just save your life.  You would be amazed at how many people will pose for a picture with a rubber duck if you ask.  When it's too dangerous to ask, holding up your duck and taking a picture of that...with your target in the background...often gets you the picture.  My NASCAR rubber duck is named Cooter.  Cooter likes Chevies and Lynyrd Skynyrd and Miller Lite.

Cooter has friends that are extremely helpful in snapping pictures of my very favourite insane, bible-beaters in the whole world!

Bless their hearts...they are there every year...and I look forward to them every year!  They preach, through bullhorns, the evils of...well...everything!  One year they were talking about the evils of buying a car...outside a NASCAR race!  Evidently, not everyone saw the irony.

At this point, you must be asking yourself, "How on Earth does Princess do NASCAR?"
Well, I'll tell you.  Every track is different and you should always check with tracks with which you're unfamiliar...but as a's what you can bring:

The standard is a clear bag of some handbags...and a 14x14x14in soft-sided coolerAs you can see, I have what I call my "NASCAR Kit."  In my clear backpack I always stow a blanket, a scarf, a hat, and a koozie.  Princess tip:  Always keep heat wraps and emergency ice packs (the kind you break for cooling a sports injury) in your bag.  Something will ALWAYS happen that wasn't expected and you will thank me later that you had them.  It will either rain or get too hot or too cold and the unprepared are always miserable!

Yes...the people you saw in the pictures are crawling all over races...but we needn't all be savages!  With NASCAR's increasing popularity and range of ticket prices, I'm not the only person there with a popped collar...nor will you be!!!

As for that soft-sided cooler, pack it full or you'll find yourself competing with the savages for a spot in line to buy $8 Miller Lites and greasy stadium food.  This Princess is madly in love with her Marley Lilly Monogrammed Cooler Bag!!!

I could not be more in love with this bag!  It's super adorable and durable and perfect for everything from NASCAR to your car!  I use it for grocery shopping and road name it!  I love it so much that the ever generous Marley Lilly is giving one away to one of my readers!

To enter, post each of these you do as separate comments:
1:  Follow Marley Lilly on Twitter
2:  Follow me on Twitter
3:  Tweet about this giveaway
4:  Follow my blog
5:  Blog about this giveaway
6:  Like Marley Lilly on Facebook.
7:  Who's your favourite driver and why?
8:  What's your favourite Marley Lilly item?
9:  Share a picture of your favourite mullet.

Good luck!


Friday, March 23, 2012

Mullet Hunting (part 1)

In my family, mullet hunting has become something of a sport.

Well...mullet hunting is a bit too specific...though one does get extra points for mullets...and level of risk...but let's not jump ahead.  

If people choose to leave their homes looking a hot mess...I feel obligated...nay...I feel the MORAL DUTY to do my very best to snap their picture and share it so that no one else might ever think it's ok!'s just funny as hell.

Case in point:

 Just a few to give you an idea.  These pictures, you should know, have been taken over the span of many years and in multiple locations from coast to coast.

I have found, that one of the very best places to find these people, is a NASCAR race.  Some of you love NASCAR and some of you just rolled your eyes when you saw the word.  I, too, was one of the many who thought it was nothing but rednecks turning left.  But, my friends?  I am here to tell is soooo much more!!!  Once I actually went to my first race?  I was hooked!  
It's a circus, people!  I have never seen anything like it!  Pre-race, there is a concert or two, displays and booths of everything you can imagine...times 10!  Want to join the US Border Patrol?  Go to a NASCAR race!  You can meet agents, play with their can get an application!!!  Want to try that new soda?  I guarantee you, someone is walking around, handing out samples.  A fun, frozen, drink more your style?  You can find nice people that will swirl the mango flavour with some other pink flavour because you just can't make up your mind between the 2 shades of pink!  Take your drink, pop your collar, twirl your pearls, find a seat and watch the people go by!  You will be amazed!!!
You're not the only one in pearls!  As ticket prices range from about $35 to well over $400...and I'm not talking boxes here, I'm talking regular seating...the financial demographic is all over the map!!!  It's not at all unheard-of to go to brunch at the Club and then head straight to the track.  Forbes magazine has named it the "America's Fastest Growing Sport".  There's a reason.  Though ticket buyers may not share a neighborhood, they do, generally, share 2 things.
NASCAR fans tend to be Patriotic and have Faith in whomever their God may be.  I'm not suggesting anyone have Jr.'re NASCAR's version of the UK's Football Hooligans and you KNOW it (no, not all of you, so give me a break)...over for dinner, I'm simply saying, if you've never would be amazed!

Moving right along, this...shall we say...diverse group includes the best mullets and most frightening attire I have ever seen!  That said, fan or not, grab your camera and get thee to a race!

As I said, these pictures can be extremely difficult to take and occasionally dangerous.  Start your way up.

Please notice the woman in the blue seat...with a cheap sports-bra on over a dirty wife-beater!
What's with the ducks?  All in good time, my pretties. All in good time...

These next 2 are from my most dangerous and most awesome find...EVER!  This is not for beginners!  My friends...I would like to introduce you to an incredibly rare and very dangerous creature...mostly the stuff of lore since the mid-80s...

Beware the fe-mullet! She is an incredibly fierce and aggressive creature prone to fits of rage.
That said, you will be happy to know...
There is someone for everyone...and for the fe-mullet?  A yeti.

For now...I'll leave you with that.
But tomorrow?  NASCAR the Preppy Pink Princess way...
A MARLEY LILLY giveaway...
And an introduction to my dear friend, Cooter the Duck!


Saturday, March 17, 2012

Thought's of an Insomniac...

Those of you who are sleeping all snug in your beds ever wonder what the rest of us are doing?  Well, as a chronic insomniac...I've decided to share a little bit of it with you.

First?  We're hating you.  Oh stupid, awful, dreadful, mean people that are asleep?  At around 3 AM?  WE HATE YOU!!!

Some people read or watch tv...some get up and out of bed...some try to sleep...

What happens when you try to sleep?  You THINK things...

You've all heard what I think about when I'm not letting my mind you may not want to read on...

Why is E! running a show called "10 Minute Workout" for 30 minutes at 3 AM? and of itself...really shouldn't make noise.
Do NOT comment with the scientific answer here...believe me, I already know it...and immediately after having said thought, my brain was filled with Mr. Wizard-y voices of J telling me why and schematics of air flow around an object and then air foil...and it was exhausting!  Should have put me right to sleep...but no.

Why is Spandau Ballet on a Chevy commercial?

What is it with bike helmets and no more blacktop on playgrounds because it's not "safe"?  It was good enough for us!  And what about Erector Sets?
And then I got the giggles because an hour or so before, during a Friends marathon, Joey and Rachel got the giggles over Homo Erectus.  Yup...still funny.

Why are there always fast food type commercials within 2 or 3 commercials of some diet brand's commercial?
Maybe it's a marketing scam!
Maybe they're in cahoots!
What kind of word is cahoot, anyway?
Thanks, Google, I KNOW it's an idiom...I guess I should have specified etymology.

 Maybe if I could stop thinking about stupid stuff, I would fall asleep.

Who counts sheep?
I guess shepherds.
And Scots.'s Friday...well, it was when I got in bed...if I don't fall asleep, when can I eat meat again?
Some people say midnight, some say the next morning...I've always liked to hedge my bets...I'm not going to hell over a cheeseburger!
Eating after midnight...
Gremlins never made any sense to me.  It's ALWAYS after midnight, technically, so really...
WOW!  I haven't seen that in forever!  
Do kids even know that movie now?
What if they get one by accident and break one of the rules?
Maybe kids just shouldn't get pets in Chinatown as a rule of thumb...
Ohhhh..."Rule of thumb"...I wonder what the etymology of that is.
I wonder if it's like a cubit?
I'll bet it is.
I love cubits!  Bill Cosby was funny when he was young.

My pink taser is pretty.
I wonder if I can get a bedazzled case instead of the black nylon it came in...
Can I have my taser bedazzled?!?
How humiliating would that be?
Explaining to your cellmate how you got tazed in the stones by a little 5'(almost)1...just give me the quarter inch and move on...woman with a sparkly, pink, taser!

How is it possible that there are times when there are NO reruns of ANY Law & Order franchise on?
Is that a sign of the Apocalypse? planets...5 food groups?  Anything else I should know about?  I think the continents and the oceans are still all set...I'm not touching countries!

Law & Order!  

And then it was daylight...

You're welcome.



Tuesday, March 6, 2012

The Karate Kid

To all those of you who are up in arms over "bounties" in football...I have 3 words for you:

"Sweep The Leg!"


Friday, March 2, 2012

Aliens Are Real...It's in the Bible

I don't know why it is...but I ALWAYS hear the strangest conversations in doctor's waiting rooms.

I believe it was the History Channel playing in the waiting room.  As I understand it, this was the waiting room...not the make new friends room...not the let's all share our completely insane government conspiracy room...but the History channel had other plans for my morning, and I'm quite certain that is was for no other reason than to test my patience with the other patients!

This can't POSSIBLY have happened.  

The woman next to's a tiny room and often SRO...apparently has VERY strong opinions about aliens.  The first words out of her mouth and I immediately donned my sunglasses to hide the eye-rolling.
And so it began...

Aliens are real!

For the record, I do believe in aliens.  Not in the lunatic, let's sit in lawn chairs in the desert and watch for UFOs all night, sense of the word.  I simply believe it's incredibly arrogant and short sighted to assume that, in an infinite universe, we are the ONLY beings in existence...from primordial ooze to text messaging.  As for the lore...them looking like all the pics and drawings and insanity and propaganda surrounding them...I find that a bit absurd. However, I also think it's pompous and caviler and perhaps a bit pathetic for a "rational" or "reasonable" to assume that we are alone.  Just a little something to think about...
(especially considering I'm always right ;))

Back to the waiting room.  I'm not sure which bit set her off...but sweet Lord, something did!!! Aliens, you see, are living among us, and have been for quite some time!  Earth is a prison and that is why we can't get anywhere to see them...and when they come visit here, they can't escape the prison, therefore, they walk among us.  Just look at all the PROOF!  There's no way humans could conceivably come up with the technology we use on a day to day basis.  Though Roswell was fake, it was the catalyst that for the pairing of the government and Hollywood.  Most sightings are real.  As a matter of fact, the more they appear to be fake, the more likely it is that they're real.  The aliens, you see, are very, very they familiarize themselves with our movies and CARTOONS, and pattern their UFOs after them.  Those aliens are so sneaky!  HA!  Hollywood is even sneakier...they pattern UFOs after the real give the government plausible deniability.  Oh....but she was only getting warmed up, my friends!

You see, she had PROOF!!!  Now I know what you're thinking...if Roswell isn't real...what proof could she possibly have?  Ohhh...I do hope you're sitting...

Her indisputable proof?  THE BIBLE!  That's right...the Bible...primarily Genesis.  She was still going on about the biblical proof of aliens when I was mercifully called from the waiting room...but not before I learned that that is how people lived to be over 900...lepers were shedding their alien forms...or not adapting properly to their human forms...or that that is how Jesus REALLY rose from the dead.

And on that note...I have nothing further to say on this matter because...well...I just...yeah...