Friday, March 2, 2012

Aliens Are Real...It's in the Bible

I don't know why it is...but I ALWAYS hear the strangest conversations in doctor's waiting rooms.

I believe it was the History Channel playing in the waiting room.  As I understand it, this was the waiting room...not the make new friends room...not the let's all share our completely insane government conspiracy room...but the History channel had other plans for my morning, and I'm quite certain that is was for no other reason than to test my patience with the other patients!

This can't POSSIBLY have happened.  

The woman next to's a tiny room and often SRO...apparently has VERY strong opinions about aliens.  The first words out of her mouth and I immediately donned my sunglasses to hide the eye-rolling.
And so it began...

Aliens are real!

For the record, I do believe in aliens.  Not in the lunatic, let's sit in lawn chairs in the desert and watch for UFOs all night, sense of the word.  I simply believe it's incredibly arrogant and short sighted to assume that, in an infinite universe, we are the ONLY beings in existence...from primordial ooze to text messaging.  As for the lore...them looking like all the pics and drawings and insanity and propaganda surrounding them...I find that a bit absurd. However, I also think it's pompous and caviler and perhaps a bit pathetic for a "rational" or "reasonable" to assume that we are alone.  Just a little something to think about...
(especially considering I'm always right ;))

Back to the waiting room.  I'm not sure which bit set her off...but sweet Lord, something did!!! Aliens, you see, are living among us, and have been for quite some time!  Earth is a prison and that is why we can't get anywhere to see them...and when they come visit here, they can't escape the prison, therefore, they walk among us.  Just look at all the PROOF!  There's no way humans could conceivably come up with the technology we use on a day to day basis.  Though Roswell was fake, it was the catalyst that for the pairing of the government and Hollywood.  Most sightings are real.  As a matter of fact, the more they appear to be fake, the more likely it is that they're real.  The aliens, you see, are very, very they familiarize themselves with our movies and CARTOONS, and pattern their UFOs after them.  Those aliens are so sneaky!  HA!  Hollywood is even sneakier...they pattern UFOs after the real give the government plausible deniability.  Oh....but she was only getting warmed up, my friends!

You see, she had PROOF!!!  Now I know what you're thinking...if Roswell isn't real...what proof could she possibly have?  Ohhh...I do hope you're sitting...

Her indisputable proof?  THE BIBLE!  That's right...the Bible...primarily Genesis.  She was still going on about the biblical proof of aliens when I was mercifully called from the waiting room...but not before I learned that that is how people lived to be over 900...lepers were shedding their alien forms...or not adapting properly to their human forms...or that that is how Jesus REALLY rose from the dead.

And on that note...I have nothing further to say on this matter because...well...I just...yeah...



  1. Dying here. I really wish you had videotaped this slyly on your iPhone and turned this post into a vlog instead.

    1. I swear, I didn't do this woman justice! She was...WOW! Just WOW! She went into serious depth on it...and if people tried to ignore her she made a point of calling them out.

  2. She has quite the imagination doesn't she? Perhaps she was just rehearsing for open mic night somewhere...

  3. Wow! I think she might need to be locked up. I agree we are not alone but the Bible is proof.