A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to Daytona

I think we can all agree that, since 9/11, the face of terrorism has changed...I just failed to realize how much! 

Husband and I have just returned from the family's annual trip to Daytona.  People say "getting there is half the fun."  And that's generally true...as long as you upgrade, of course.  This time, forget "getting there"...just getting to our seats was about all the fun I could handle.

We had an uneventful drive to the airport...but for the fact that we had to fly out of McCarran (LAS) not Ontario (ONT)...as there were no upgrades available for ONT.  I always check ONT first because it is easy to get to, easy to navigate, and closer to my home.  Also, because I know that if terrorists ever try to take it over, Jack Bauer will rescue me...and the other people there, too, I guess...but, whatever, not my problem.  The drive to Vegas isn't that much longer and...thank you nice people at Sirius...I have 80s on 8.  

We park, easy peasy, unload the car, and, as we head from parking garage to airport, J began to question the wisdom of not having called ahead for a wheelchair.  It was too late at that point, so as a friend would tell me, I Rangered Up, and continued.  At the ticketing counter, no one was manning the First Class line, so we waited far too long.  But...onward.

At this point, we reach the TSA Agent before the metal detectors, who compares your ID to your ticket.  J and I presented our military IDs and tickets.  He compares DH's ID picture to his face and name to ticket and hands it back to him.  My turn.  He stared!!!  Used different angles and lighting!  He finally asks for a second form of ID...dude...are you kidding me?  I hand him my driver's license.  UH-OH...it's expired.  He lets the expiration slide with a stern warning and then starts the comparison dance again...both IDs and me...back and forth...squinting, staring, doing the hokey f*cking pokey.  With a dirty look he returns my documents and sends us to the metal detector line.  Again...this was the First Class line!!!  Seasoned travelers, everything is neatly in bins, all computers out, quart size bag of anything even semi-liquid, shoes and sweater off...let's roll. Then we get pulled out of THAT line to go thru the body scanner thingy. 

Don't get me wrong...I am a safety nut.  I have been since I worked with a wonderfully security conscious (read: paranoid lunatic) officer for 2 years at the Sheriff's Dept. back home.  J is also a bit hyper-aware (read: slightly obsessed) of Force Protection.  I'm all for any safety measures necessary to keep our nation safe...at the airport...or anywhere else.  I understand and support the need for our Govt. not to lay everything bare to the masses.  Though I disagree with the way most gun nuts interpret the 2nd Amendment, I AM a gun nut!

HOWEVER...am I the new face of terrorism?

Let me set the scene...
All 5'1 (if I stand up really straight and the nurse is nice, I'm 5'1, damn it) of me...chin length, ginger hair, pink, monogrammed, polo dress, matching monogrammed cardigan, pearls, and my new Marley Lilly Monogrammed Penny Clutch.  Really?  There's a rosary in my bag!  The only person I look like I could terrorize is a Protestant midget in Ireland!!!

From the front?  A basic, flat, clutch that is deceptively large enough to fit the current issues of Town & Country and Vanity Fair

 and still look flat with loads of room for your essentials.

 This back pocket?

Fits your favourite E-reader with room to spare!

Just to make more versatile, 

There are wristlet and cross-body straps included!

When traveling, the cross-body strap makes life SO much easier!

I love the bag so much...that Marley Lilly is letting me give one away!!!

So here are the rules:

1:  Follow Marley Lilly on Twitter

2:  Follow me on Twitter

@PrincssPrepPink

3:  Like Marley Lilly on Facebook

4:  Share your "favourite" travel story here

And because Marley Lilly is so generous

5:  Like The Queen of Hearts on Facebook

6:  Follow The Queen of Hearts on Twitter
7:  Tweet about the giveaway
8:  Blog about the giveaway

Good Luck!

XOXO

~CAT

Peach and Poodle go to the Vatican

I've been sick and haven't posted for a few days, so I wanted to pop in and share a little something and make sure you don't feel neglected.

For those of you who know me and/or read my blog, you know that I occasionally lean just the teeny, tiniest, little bit toward the irreverent...

That said, for those of you that don't appreciate such things or are in any way easily offended, well, let's just say...This Post Is Not For You.  You have received your warning.

As an aside, "You Have Received Your Warning" is the text from a road sign in Medford Lakes that I have always wanted to steal and hang in my garage, were I the sort of person that did such things.

Moving on...

I have a dear friend that I affectionately call "Poodle."  In case you don't see where this is going, she calls me "Peach."  She went back to school this semester and is taking a Philosophy class, the professor of which she calls "Crazy, Old, Philosophy Bat."  Anyone who took philosophy in college knows how...ummm...off balance...philosophy professors tend to be.  I know I spent a fair amount of time in The Giggle Loop, a la Coupling, in my college philosophy class.  I had a huge final paper due when I took it and no matter what I did, I simply could NOT bring myself to buckle down write it!  I have always considered philosophy to essentially be nothing more than organized and accredited bullsh*t anyway, so I decided it was time to think outside the proverbial box...or...cave (homage to Plato!!!)  And I had "another one of my brilliant ideas (Blair Warner stole that from me!)!!!  I invited a friend from class over...we made a list of all the salient points we needed to cover...made a liquor store run...make sure we had plenty of batteries and blank cassette tapes (if you need to know what those are, let me know...when I'm done crying about being old, I'll brief it up)...and let the drinking begin!  Once we had had a few, and started feeling philosophical, as one often does when is drinking, we hit record.  We went point by point from our list and kept drinking and chatting and laughing and recording until we had filled nearly both sides of the tape!  We had to save just a tiny bit of space at the end for my piece de resistance...wait for it...The Philosopher's Drinking Song by Monty Python.  Easiest and most fun I have ever had on a "final term paper" in college...A+...AND he asked to keep the tape to share with future students.  You may worship my lazy, alcohol soaked, ingenuity now.

Poodle was in her philosophy class this week...and I would like to share with the you the text conversation...because it made her want to kill me, just a little, because of the Giggle Loop...and because some conversations are meant to be shared.

Last chance to turn back if you are easily offended.

Poodle:  Dear crazy old philosophy bat, do not preach to me that I can't consider myself a Christian if I'm willing to pollute the environment and waste natural resources.
Peach:  What?!?  Where did she get that?  Even the Popemobile has an exhaust pipe, b*tch!  So put that in your tree and deforest it, you dirty hippie!
Poodle:  She said Christians have moral obligations which "clearly" include not polluting or wasting natural resources unless your life depends on it.
Poodle:  So she would say the Pope isn't a true Christian.
Peach:  That "clearly" must have been on one of those tablets that Moses dropped.
Poodle:  *snort*
Peach:  Well, duh!  Our method of choosing a new Pope IS pollution!!!  Hello, white smoke/black smoke?
Poodle:  Bwahahaha!
Peach:  And not for nothin'...why just the Christians?  Why don't the Jews have this moral imperative?  Of course, they're already screwed on the bacon cheeseburger thing.
Poodle:  Well, they usually do vote Democrat.
Peach:  See?  That's another reason she'd say Catholics don't count.  There's no deficit spending at the Vatican, my friend!  No unemployment or homelessness either!
Poodle:  That's because they know how to live within their means. 
Peach:  Israel, however?  Lousy with 'em!  Giggles.
Poodle:  You're still bitter about your friends purposely eating burgers and stuff in front of you on Friday's during Lent growing up, aren't you?  Bwahaha!
Peach:  Moi?
Poodle:  DirecTV 246 (trutv)-Hulk Hogan micro wrestling = MIDGETS!!! 

I warned you!
Giggles.


XOXO
~CAT