On some level I've always known that there must be at least a few Republicans at UC Berkeley, the Holy Grail of liberal academia (no judgment, merely a statement of fact). I assumed perhaps a few legacies...maybe a handful of students trying to gather intel on the enemy...sleepers, if you will. But enough...and out at that...for a CLUB? Never, in a million years, would I have guessed!!! As it happens, however, a club there is...and active, too! When the Berkeley College Republicans caught wind that students were setting up a phone bank on campus to flood Governor Brown with calls to sign the, already passed, SB 185, they knew they needed to hold a counter-"demonstration," in so much as Republicans are capable of holding a "demonstration," rally, protest, etc...
California SB 185 is essentially an end-run around Prop 209 which prohibits "affirmative action."
It would “authorize the University of California and the California State University to consider race, gender, ethnicity, and national origin, along with other relevant factors, in undergraduate and graduate admissions." What it doesn't do, is provide for any guidelines as to how this information is to be used or require the student's socioeconomic background, or any other factors, be considered as well. CA SB185 eliminates accountability in the school's admissions process and offers preferential treatment based solely on race, gender, or anything else the school or, frankly, an individual with an agenda on the admission committee, chooses creating an incredible potential for abuse!
Realizing this, though how the California Legislature missed it I'll never know, the Berkeley College Republicans organized an "Increase Diversity Bake Sale." Anything that in any way gives one race treatment different than that of another, is, by definition, racist. The BCR decided to illustrate blatant racism in CA SB 185 with CUPCAKES! Ok, they had cookies and other baked goods as well, but...I'm all about the cupcake. The baked goods were sold to "white men for $2, Asian men for $1.50, Latino men for $1, black men for 75 cents and Native American men for 25 cents. All women received 25 cents off those prices." Wow, SB185 supporters, when you look at it that way, it does appear a little racist, doesn't it though? For the record, as self-reported by UC Berkeley, White students: 31.7% Asian: 45.7% Latino: 11.5% Black: 3.4% Native American: .08% By the way, I thought they were "Indigenous Persons to North America" now...no? I can't keep up.
How is this supposed to work? I wish I could be friends with you, Skip, but you'll have to wait. It would appear I need to add an Asian guy and a Latina first.
So here they are, middle of Berkeley, phone bank encouraging racism being "protested" by cupcakes. Not to be outdone, the SB185 supporters stage a counter-counter-"demonstration." Naturally, as it was in their wheelhouse, they started out far more traditionally...marching and signs and the like...lots of Birkenstocks and patchouli. Clearly the geniuses failed to take into account the fact that all of their marching and shouting and protesting would make it a bit difficult to hear over yonder at the bank. Soon enough the phone bank got a reprieve from the noise. Gone are the days of our parents having to step over the unwashed masses staging a sit-in...at noon, whether as part of their protest or as a sign of the times...and laziness...they held nap time!!! Are you joking?!? A group, all dressed in black, comprised, statistically of more than 75% white and Asian students, lying down in the middle of campus, during classes, as a form of social protest? Right. Nothing about that seems in any way inappropriate or lazy. Really, really lazy. Make a little effort. Though I suppose asking the tie-dye set to make a little effort is shooting for the moon considering their relationship with personal hygiene.
What the SB185 supporters never saw coming? Let's not make a list...I'm referring strictly to the loud background noise making phone calls difficult thing. Ok, and the lying down and taking a midday nap being a ludicrous form of "protest" too. But there was someone who wasn't quite done yet. The one man, THE MAN, who, above all others, needed to weigh in on the issue, stepped right up to buy his $.75 cupcake! The UC Board member, the man behind Prop 209...that which prohibits "affirmative action," the founder and chairman of the American Civil Rights Institute...Ward Connerly himself. (LOVE him! He's no Oliver North or Colin Powell, and he's certainly not the Duke, the Holy Father JPII, or Ronnie, but...LOVE!) Take the hint, SB185 supporters, the very successful and influential, and in case no one noticed Black, Ward Connerly is buying a $.75 cupcake because SB185 is racist...just sayin'...
I still can't quite decide my favourite part. The cupcakes? The counter-demonstration? The counter-counter-demonstration? The fact that Ward Connerly showed up and the dear, misguided, Berkeley types are still missing the fact that they're supporting racism? Or...no...I think this is it...the fact that a good number of the students supporting SB185 are from any state but California, therefore, Mummy and Daddy get no tuition breaks as they write each check to what they consider to be a cringe-worthy and laughable educational institution...which sonny-boy is only going because he felt the need to "rebel," against his oppressive, dreadful, and otherwise horrific, Jake Ryan-esque, life...so he opted for UC Berkeley...from where, upon graduation, he hit the real world. Sonny boy lasts about 5 minutes before running home and makes VP of Nepotism at Daddy Warbucks, Inc. by 27 with a mid-6 figure income and a maid that is...kind of, sort of..."undocumented," shall we say, whose son he wants her to home-school so that he won't be eligible for a free education, via the Dream Act, at Sonny boy's Alma Mater.
And in true Disney fashion, I leave you with this,
"It's the circle of life..."
XOXO
~CAT
Showing posts with label Disney. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Disney. Show all posts
Friday, September 30, 2011
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
A New Low
I am a pretty self aware person. I know my flaws...I own them...who am I kidding, I flaunt them! I have shared with you in the past that Walt Disney kind of distorted my perception of reality...let's not rehash my traumatic Chinatown visit. There are a fair amount of Hidden Mickeys throughout my home...and quite a few that are not so hidden. I drag Husband to Disney every chance I get...again, no need to rehash...World=Happiest Place On Earth...Land=Ghetto/Wrong Side of the Happiest Place On Earth tracks. My Royal status? As to whether that is a Disney issue or an entitlement one, remains to be seen. A proper Princess always gives back and as I may have mentioned, I have spent my adult life dedicated to service to my Country and my community...the America Red Cross, the Queen of Hearts, and the Peace Corps (Domestic Branch)...for example. I spent 2 years as a full-time intern during college at the Sheriff's Dept. and pulled overnights once on a week as a first responder, studying when I wasn't on the ambulance. I may regret including this, but the guys on my crew did NOT call me Princess. They had their own little pet name for me...Axe...as in Battle. I may have been a little bit of a hard ass at the time...you try running overnights on an ambulance when you're the only female on the crew! You have to, for example, take the 80+ year old woman who decided she was to old to wear panties to bed to the ladies because she can't be left alone...and she's chatty! Some things, my friends, cannot be unseen.
Why am I telling you all of this? I have been afforded the opportunity to see people at their very best and their very worst. I have shared those moments with them. I have had my heart broken seeing someone hurt by a loved one and had my heart overfilled seeing an entire community become a family after a wildfire destroyed a over a quarter of the homes in the town. I've taught EMS and Lifeguards how to administer oxygen in the morning, helped a family whose house burned down with lodging, food, and clothing in the afternoon, only to race home to wait by the phone for a call from deployed Husband. I've also had to, with a police escort, do searches of disaster shelters' sleeping areas and bathrooms because residents were coming to me with reports of weapons and drugs. I've watched as some of those same people abandoned their children at the shelters and took their Red Cross and/or FEMA money to the mall. Just when you think you can't handle seeing one more thing? One of the little girls whose mother constantly abandoned her at the shelter assuming she'd be cared for...which, of course, she was, and in my opinion, better than when her mother was there saying charming things like, "Don't go near that man, baby, we don't like people look that man." She was referring to a cop. We had more than a few residents who shared her sentiment. Back to her daughter...one afternoon, I still don't know where the child got a bottle of nail polish, she walked over, grabbed the cop's hand, and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he needed a manicure! The next thing you know, I look over, and there's this huge cop in a child sized chair at a child sized table getting a hot pink manicure!!! Some things, my friends, cannot be unseen.
No matter how much you see, no matter how many highs, no matter how many lows, people can still surprise you. Sometimes, when confronted with a new low, even promising yourself that there are even greater heights to which the human spirit can soar...well...sometimes that's just not enough.
I've given you Disney...I've thrown down a little Dickensian best of times/worst of times...now I guess it's time to tell you why I spent 10 minutes crying in my car in a store parking lot today. I was running into the store to grab some fishing line (to secure holiday decor) and a candle. That's it. But it's me and it's shopping so I grab a cart just in case. There is a man with a coffee can and a picture of his 3yr old daughter standing next to the cart asking for donations for her, as she was in the hospital after being hit by a car and he had no insurance to cover her stay. Naturally, I was heartbroken for him and his poor daughter and though I asked what had happened and if she was ok, a drunk driver, he said, she was having 4 pins put in her leg, I offered my prayers and a truly heartfelt apology that I simply don't carry cash. I do, however, carry plastic! So into my cart went a big, pink, princess, gift bag...and into that, a pink princess costume, tiara, mirror, dress-up princess jewelery, a princess wand...everyone knows princesses don't carry wands, fairy godmothers do, but I wasn't going to split hairs...I found some gross looking pink princess candy, and animal crackers, of course. I put all the presents in the gift bag and walk out to where he was standing with the gift bag, my bag, and a bottle of water for him because it was about 95 and rising at the time. He wasn't there. I must have looked like an idiot. I just sort of stood there holding this stuff in front of the store for a minute or two. That was when the store employee stationed at the front door noticed me and my sad little princess gift bag.
"That bag isn't for the man that was out here earlier begging for money, is it?"
"Yes, yes it is. I don't see him though."
"Ummmm...he left ma'am."
"Oh no! Do you know where he went? I just bought this for him to take to his daughter."
"I don't know where he went, but I know he won't be back." I can only assume that at that point my face distorted into something akin to my pug's when he hears a strange a noise, because he continued, "He was lying, a scam, you know..."
I really don't know if he kept talking...I was already walking away. As I was almost to my car a woman walked by pushing a cart with her daughter in it. She looked 3. Ish. To me. What do I know? I asked them if she liked princesses and told them it was her lucky day! When the mother opened her mouth to ask the crazy lady giving away big bags of prezzies in parking lot if she was off her meds, I pointed to the employee still standing in the doorway and told her to ask him.
I got in my car, took a deep breath, pulled out my phone, typed the name of the town and "car accident" into google news...and started to cry...
XOXO
~CAT
Why am I telling you all of this? I have been afforded the opportunity to see people at their very best and their very worst. I have shared those moments with them. I have had my heart broken seeing someone hurt by a loved one and had my heart overfilled seeing an entire community become a family after a wildfire destroyed a over a quarter of the homes in the town. I've taught EMS and Lifeguards how to administer oxygen in the morning, helped a family whose house burned down with lodging, food, and clothing in the afternoon, only to race home to wait by the phone for a call from deployed Husband. I've also had to, with a police escort, do searches of disaster shelters' sleeping areas and bathrooms because residents were coming to me with reports of weapons and drugs. I've watched as some of those same people abandoned their children at the shelters and took their Red Cross and/or FEMA money to the mall. Just when you think you can't handle seeing one more thing? One of the little girls whose mother constantly abandoned her at the shelter assuming she'd be cared for...which, of course, she was, and in my opinion, better than when her mother was there saying charming things like, "Don't go near that man, baby, we don't like people look that man." She was referring to a cop. We had more than a few residents who shared her sentiment. Back to her daughter...one afternoon, I still don't know where the child got a bottle of nail polish, she walked over, grabbed the cop's hand, and told him, in no uncertain terms, that he needed a manicure! The next thing you know, I look over, and there's this huge cop in a child sized chair at a child sized table getting a hot pink manicure!!! Some things, my friends, cannot be unseen.
No matter how much you see, no matter how many highs, no matter how many lows, people can still surprise you. Sometimes, when confronted with a new low, even promising yourself that there are even greater heights to which the human spirit can soar...well...sometimes that's just not enough.
I've given you Disney...I've thrown down a little Dickensian best of times/worst of times...now I guess it's time to tell you why I spent 10 minutes crying in my car in a store parking lot today. I was running into the store to grab some fishing line (to secure holiday decor) and a candle. That's it. But it's me and it's shopping so I grab a cart just in case. There is a man with a coffee can and a picture of his 3yr old daughter standing next to the cart asking for donations for her, as she was in the hospital after being hit by a car and he had no insurance to cover her stay. Naturally, I was heartbroken for him and his poor daughter and though I asked what had happened and if she was ok, a drunk driver, he said, she was having 4 pins put in her leg, I offered my prayers and a truly heartfelt apology that I simply don't carry cash. I do, however, carry plastic! So into my cart went a big, pink, princess, gift bag...and into that, a pink princess costume, tiara, mirror, dress-up princess jewelery, a princess wand...everyone knows princesses don't carry wands, fairy godmothers do, but I wasn't going to split hairs...I found some gross looking pink princess candy, and animal crackers, of course. I put all the presents in the gift bag and walk out to where he was standing with the gift bag, my bag, and a bottle of water for him because it was about 95 and rising at the time. He wasn't there. I must have looked like an idiot. I just sort of stood there holding this stuff in front of the store for a minute or two. That was when the store employee stationed at the front door noticed me and my sad little princess gift bag.
"That bag isn't for the man that was out here earlier begging for money, is it?"
"Yes, yes it is. I don't see him though."
"Ummmm...he left ma'am."
"Oh no! Do you know where he went? I just bought this for him to take to his daughter."
"I don't know where he went, but I know he won't be back." I can only assume that at that point my face distorted into something akin to my pug's when he hears a strange a noise, because he continued, "He was lying, a scam, you know..."
I really don't know if he kept talking...I was already walking away. As I was almost to my car a woman walked by pushing a cart with her daughter in it. She looked 3. Ish. To me. What do I know? I asked them if she liked princesses and told them it was her lucky day! When the mother opened her mouth to ask the crazy lady giving away big bags of prezzies in parking lot if she was off her meds, I pointed to the employee still standing in the doorway and told her to ask him.
I got in my car, took a deep breath, pulled out my phone, typed the name of the town and "car accident" into google news...and started to cry...
XOXO
~CAT
Wednesday, September 7, 2011
Naughty List, Vol. I
I feel like I've been a little bit...what's the word...NICE(?)...lately. I mean, I am always kind and benevolent to my minions, it's not that to which I refer. It's that my acid tongue...or fingertips, if you will...feel a bit dry. I don't know how I let this happen. I haven't written a manifesto or jumped up on a high horse or a soapbox or even shared a good rant with you in a while...and I apologize...I have been remiss. You expect...and deserve...better from me.
I've spent a little quite time with some sugar free Red Bull and an exercise bike and picked out just a few teeny, tiny, little things that make me want to, among other things, refer you to my Anger Management post.
Following is a list of those with whom I need to have a "Come to Jesus" talk:
I've spent a little quite time with some sugar free Red Bull and an exercise bike and picked out just a few teeny, tiny, little things that make me want to, among other things, refer you to my Anger Management post.
Following is a list of those with whom I need to have a "Come to Jesus" talk:
Pool Guy
Landscapers
Random 20yr old Illegal Alien/UCLA Student
Jeff Lurie
Governor Brown & the California Legislature
Depakote
Listen up, pool guy...just because you're the only game in town, doesn't give you the right to take my money and continue to NOT BOTHER TO SHOW UP! Owner of pool guy, blaming your employees for being slackers just doesn't cut it. I do not find your ZZ Top meets gnomes beard amusing. We will not become pals by your attempts to bond over Rheumatoid Arthritis...or your use of vodka to self medicate. Do I REALLY NEED to know that?!?!? I'm thinking no. Do I WANT to know that? I do not. I mean, I really, really, couldn't care less...except that I care enough to decidedly not want to know anything about you...because, you know...ewwww!!!
To the wonderful landscaper who spoke enough broken English to understand me when I ran to him like a raving lunatic because my adorable, sweet, precious, little, girly, fluffy, white, princess, half American Eskimo/Half Coton du Tulear, Lilac Water brought me a not entirely dead, ginormo rat and ran behind the couch with it, for actually being in the backyard doing your job and for being kind enough to come in to help, what you were sure was an hysterical, exaggerating, housewife, until you saw the size of the rat...which, I am quite certain could neither cook nor make dresses (damn you, Disney)...and you spoke the words forever etched in my memory with a chuckle and your eyes as wide as saucers, "Little dog, BIG RAT," you have my unwavering, eternal gratitude. HOWEVER, to the OWNER and all his other employees I would like to raise a nice big flute of YOU SUCK! I have a front yard AND a back yard! I have Italian Cyprus trees that you were supposed to fix the last time it snowed in this God-forsaken desert! As an aside, "the last time it snowed in this desert," is NOT a euphemism a la "since grandmom had her period," it is quite literal. It ACTUALLY snowed here a few years ago. The damage on the trees continues to worsen because of the wind. I want desperately to add new landscaping, but as I can't trust you to weed and mow on a weekly basis, I am still holding off. When I'm done with Pool Guy, I AM COMING FOR YOU!!!!
On the news a few days ago, in reference to the Dream Act, a random, 20yr old, illegal alien/UCLA student was being interviewed. In my (never to be confused with) humble opinion, he was an incredibly poor representative of both Illegal Aliens AND UCLA students. This young man felt, and we will deal with my feelings on this when we cover the California State Legislature and Governor Brown, that the Dream Act was only fair because he shouldn't be held responsible for his parents' actions. WHAT?!? Ok...let's say I'm willing to accept your premise, Random...that a child shouldn't be accountable for the actions of the parents...then perhaps what we need is to define some terms...or one term...before we address the whole of your statement. Child- "The legal definition of "child" generally refers to a minor, otherwise known as a person younger than the age of majority." So let me, if I may, and I may, because, as I often point out, this is my blog, rephrase our friend Random's sentence using this definition...the Dream Act is only fair because a minor...younger than the age of majority (18 in the state of California)...shouldn't be held responsible for his parents' actions. Again, assuming I am feeling generous and willing to accept Random's premise...would that not hold true only through his 18th birthday? And if, in fact, that's the case, then logically speaking, several things follow. Random committed no crime prior to his 18th birthday. (None relevant to this discussion, anyway...let's not judge.) HOWEVER, upon turning 18 he made a conscious decision to break the law of MY country, God's country, the BEST country in the world (despite any evidence to the contrary), the United States of America!!! (Cue the fireworks, confetti, and Kate Smith!) If, on his 18th birthday, he had walked into INS and began the process of applying for citizenship, then I would support Random's statement, Random's application to college, his application for financial aid, and Random's income and property taxes as well!!! Call me conservative, but Ronald Reagan called and said that our friend Random needs to take the good with bad or get the hell out of Dodge!
WOW! Someone certainly has a lot to say! I'll give you all a break and save Jeff Lurie, Depakote, and the Dream Act for tomorrow. See what happens when I'm NICE for too long? I won't let that happen again...someone could get hurt!!!
XOXO
~CAT
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
Firecracker 400...aka Mother (thought she) Knows Best
Time for the annual Family Fourth of July Free-For-All!!!
Mother is smart. When she was starting to consider retiring, in the grand tradition of all NJ retirees, she started trying to narrow down which part of Florida would suit her inner snowbird best. As it happens, she was somewhat familiar with Daytona because her college best friend lived there. Many a time had Husband and I visited her for a Race or during a trip to Disney...World, not Land...because really...World is the most wonderful, yes, ok, FINE, Happiest Place on Earth...Land, on the other hand, is...how to be diplomatic (clearly diplomacy is reigns supreme over the voices) Land is...well...the Happiest Ghetto on Earth. Moving on...we often spent time in Daytona, as did Sister and Mother. It occurred to Mother, that if she were to build her retirement home there, we would have to come visit, as we already go there! So she did.
Retiring was something with which she had a bit more difficulty...it was years before it finally...ummmm...completely...took. As an elementary school principal this meant that during the early years in the Daytona house...Ormond Beach, really, gated, country club community...she would DIE if she thought I'd let people think she lived in Daytona proper...she came and went during the school year but was ALWAYS in residence during the summer. Clever girl that she is, bought our seats for the Firecracker 400...as she wasn't necessarily there during the Daytona 500 at that point...and began giving us our tix each year as Christmas prezzies...thus ensuring herself a houseful every 4th of July!!!
I'm not entirely sure that she doesn't regret not consulting with Clark W Griswold prior to committing herself to this Hap-hap-happy Family Holiday! That's right...it's a triple negative...I went there. Mother has become accustomed to living alone. The only person's voice you have to hear when you live alone is your own...when you talk to yourself...you know you do it, too. When you invite your family...having told them how much you're enjoying the quiet...and your family includes me...in my defense, I'm not even the one that yells...the volume pretty much hits 11 and stays there. Everyone now has mom...who, may I remind you, wanted us there, tho this quickly slips her mind, can't imagine why...and we're on different time zones...and everyone wants something different at different times and feels completely free to share this at any volume and any hour of the day or night...usually beginning with an arrival from the airport around midnight that involves ringing the doorbell a gillion times...yes it's a number...and screaming, "I'm HERE!!! STOP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!!" (That one might be me)
She gets a little quiet by shoving us out the door to the race...after the dance that is packing the coolers...always an entertaining mix of, "You put WHAT on a sandwich?!?!?" "He got his peanut butter on my chocolate," vs "She got her chocolate in my peanut butter," and so on. Yes, everyone is over 30. Then the parking...the shuttle to the track...the opening strains of the mullet-hunt...AND...my personal fav??? The religious zealots at the bottom of the footbridge! They started small...there were just a few...and they just had signs...but they were always there...they had heart! THEN...they got pamphlets! Upgrade...sweet!!! I was so proud! After a few more years...THEY GOT MEGAPHONES!!! BATTERY POWERED!!! It was AWESOME! But...ummm...people? Know you're audience!!! They were bashing people for buying new cars and war! This is NASCAR, kids...you're barking up the wrong tree!!! They put on quite a show, tho...and I sure did enjoy it. But last year...oh, yes...they reconsidered their platform...got MORE donations...and came back...WITH A CAMPER!!! I could not stop laughing!!! These people are my opening act for the festivities! I seriously love them!
Soooo...That's just a little intro for you...since I'll be gone...but I did set up the blog...I THINK...so that I can text to it...I'll do my best to try to keep you up date!!!
XOXO
~CAT
Mother is smart. When she was starting to consider retiring, in the grand tradition of all NJ retirees, she started trying to narrow down which part of Florida would suit her inner snowbird best. As it happens, she was somewhat familiar with Daytona because her college best friend lived there. Many a time had Husband and I visited her for a Race or during a trip to Disney...World, not Land...because really...World is the most wonderful, yes, ok, FINE, Happiest Place on Earth...Land, on the other hand, is...how to be diplomatic (clearly diplomacy is reigns supreme over the voices) Land is...well...the Happiest Ghetto on Earth. Moving on...we often spent time in Daytona, as did Sister and Mother. It occurred to Mother, that if she were to build her retirement home there, we would have to come visit, as we already go there! So she did.
Retiring was something with which she had a bit more difficulty...it was years before it finally...ummmm...completely...took. As an elementary school principal this meant that during the early years in the Daytona house...Ormond Beach, really, gated, country club community...she would DIE if she thought I'd let people think she lived in Daytona proper...she came and went during the school year but was ALWAYS in residence during the summer. Clever girl that she is, bought our seats for the Firecracker 400...as she wasn't necessarily there during the Daytona 500 at that point...and began giving us our tix each year as Christmas prezzies...thus ensuring herself a houseful every 4th of July!!!
I'm not entirely sure that she doesn't regret not consulting with Clark W Griswold prior to committing herself to this Hap-hap-happy Family Holiday! That's right...it's a triple negative...I went there. Mother has become accustomed to living alone. The only person's voice you have to hear when you live alone is your own...when you talk to yourself...you know you do it, too. When you invite your family...having told them how much you're enjoying the quiet...and your family includes me...in my defense, I'm not even the one that yells...the volume pretty much hits 11 and stays there. Everyone now has mom...who, may I remind you, wanted us there, tho this quickly slips her mind, can't imagine why...and we're on different time zones...and everyone wants something different at different times and feels completely free to share this at any volume and any hour of the day or night...usually beginning with an arrival from the airport around midnight that involves ringing the doorbell a gillion times...yes it's a number...and screaming, "I'm HERE!!! STOP PRETENDING TO SLEEP!!!!" (That one might be me)
She gets a little quiet by shoving us out the door to the race...after the dance that is packing the coolers...always an entertaining mix of, "You put WHAT on a sandwich?!?!?" "He got his peanut butter on my chocolate," vs "She got her chocolate in my peanut butter," and so on. Yes, everyone is over 30. Then the parking...the shuttle to the track...the opening strains of the mullet-hunt...AND...my personal fav??? The religious zealots at the bottom of the footbridge! They started small...there were just a few...and they just had signs...but they were always there...they had heart! THEN...they got pamphlets! Upgrade...sweet!!! I was so proud! After a few more years...THEY GOT MEGAPHONES!!! BATTERY POWERED!!! It was AWESOME! But...ummm...people? Know you're audience!!! They were bashing people for buying new cars and war! This is NASCAR, kids...you're barking up the wrong tree!!! They put on quite a show, tho...and I sure did enjoy it. But last year...oh, yes...they reconsidered their platform...got MORE donations...and came back...WITH A CAMPER!!! I could not stop laughing!!! These people are my opening act for the festivities! I seriously love them!
Soooo...That's just a little intro for you...since I'll be gone...but I did set up the blog...I THINK...so that I can text to it...I'll do my best to try to keep you up date!!!
XOXO
~CAT
Monday, June 6, 2011
Sheltered, Spoiled, or Sleeping Beauty...
On a recent trip to San Francisco, I learned, or rather, was reminded, of a couple of things about myself. You may not care the slightest little bit about these things...but you really should, as I find me positively spellbinding!!!
First...I can actually SMELL PINK at easily 100 feet!!! Who knew? It never occurred to me that pink had a smell tho now that I have smelled it, I'm not surprised...nor am I surprised that since it does have a smell, I'm the one that is able to smell it! We were walking along Pier 39, filled with tons of people and myriad smells, and there it was. I stopped dead in my tracks. I told Husband I smelled pink. He looked at me a little strangely, but as the poor dear has been married to me for 12 and half years, such things have long since ceased to surprised him. Instead he gives me more the sort of look one might give a child or favourite elderly relative who needs humouring. I pretend not to find the look insulting because...well, I'm used to it...and, really...I usually have it coming...and start trying to follow my nose like a cartoon bloodhound to the source of the pink. Surely this was in no way embarrassing to DH. And there it was...one of those glowing light from Heaven, choirs of Angels moments...and I beheld...the Smell of Pink. Cotton Candy!!! How did I not know this?!? Didn't I just eat cotton candy in Disney Land? How have I lived all these years and without this epiphany?!? Rest assured, I now sleep better at night, that grass is greener, the birds are chirpier, wine is winier...seriously...once you smell pink? The whole world is brighter.
So that was pretty great.
Not so sure about the other thing of which I may have been reminded...or perhaps fully grasped for the first time. I think Walt Disney has ruined me. Disney, and it's movies and Worlds and Lands have coloured...no, tainted...my world view. I said this the day I got back and a friend commented that we all wish we could be princesses...she is right, of course...but that isn't nearly the tip of this Titanic sinker. Noooo...I'm talking about the kind of corrupted thinking that permeates every facet of your being...not just the odd tiara or collection of princess trinkets. Consider this...looking/waiting for Prince Charming? Normal, healthy amount of Disney influence. Crying oneself to sleep over the lack of a Fairy Godmother or talking animals? Unhealthy. Not that I have done this, specifically, though if you know where I can get either...please let me know.
No...Disney has altered my perception of reality on a much deeper and more profound level. It colours my every interaction. I suppose, if I were one of those deep, thinkie people, it might occur to me that perhaps I am spoiled...perhaps sheltered. Fortunately, I am not one those people...therefore, this is clearly Disney's fault. Disney has taught me that people will always give you whatever you want and take pains to make sure things are perfect. Yet, even though I expect them to, in the real world, people do not always bend over backwards to try to make me happy. Friends and family have been trying to teach me this one for years, but I find if you ignore it, it mostly goes away. Disney taught me the future would have synthesizers and Micheal Jackson promoted to the 3-dimensional rank of Captain in some strange, silver, army...but I'm leaving those alone. Just like everyone else, I've seen Jaws, and I know that because of Jaws, loads of people are afraid of sharks. Not me!!! Thanks, Walt! I've been scuba diving with sharks several times in Epcot and they're quite lovely, thank you very much! Certainly this is not something that would encourage behavior, in my Disney-adled brain, in the wild, that could cause me grievous bodily injury.
But here's where it all came crashing down...did you know that places in cities called "Chinatown" look abso-freakin-loutely NOTHING like Epcot?!?!? I was sooo excited to go shopping...I must have looked like a puppy looking out my window as we neared the neighborhood...and then...wait...what the...why is it all dirty? And it's not pretty and sparkly like in Florida. And it's just so dirty. And why isn't anyone smiling? Seriously...NO ONE!! Not one smile!!! But it's Chinatown!!! I've been there in Epcot a zillion times...it's pretty and clean and EVERYONE SMILES and OMG why is husband slowing down the car? He doesn't actually think this is where we're going? This is a joke, right? The real Chinatown is hiding somewhere and he's just kidding, right? Ok...joke's over...seriously...not funny anymore...enough already. And I look at Husband and he looks at me..."You don't want me to park, do you?
"Uh-uh."
"This is isn't what you expected, is it?"
"Uh-uh."
"You thought it was going to be like Disney, didn't you?"
To husband, "Uh-huh." To myself, "BUSTED!!!"
"You want to go back to the hotel, don't you?"
"Yes, please."
Soooo...thanks Walt! Seriously!
First...I can actually SMELL PINK at easily 100 feet!!! Who knew? It never occurred to me that pink had a smell tho now that I have smelled it, I'm not surprised...nor am I surprised that since it does have a smell, I'm the one that is able to smell it! We were walking along Pier 39, filled with tons of people and myriad smells, and there it was. I stopped dead in my tracks. I told Husband I smelled pink. He looked at me a little strangely, but as the poor dear has been married to me for 12 and half years, such things have long since ceased to surprised him. Instead he gives me more the sort of look one might give a child or favourite elderly relative who needs humouring. I pretend not to find the look insulting because...well, I'm used to it...and, really...I usually have it coming...and start trying to follow my nose like a cartoon bloodhound to the source of the pink. Surely this was in no way embarrassing to DH. And there it was...one of those glowing light from Heaven, choirs of Angels moments...and I beheld...the Smell of Pink. Cotton Candy!!! How did I not know this?!? Didn't I just eat cotton candy in Disney Land? How have I lived all these years and without this epiphany?!? Rest assured, I now sleep better at night, that grass is greener, the birds are chirpier, wine is winier...seriously...once you smell pink? The whole world is brighter.
So that was pretty great.
Not so sure about the other thing of which I may have been reminded...or perhaps fully grasped for the first time. I think Walt Disney has ruined me. Disney, and it's movies and Worlds and Lands have coloured...no, tainted...my world view. I said this the day I got back and a friend commented that we all wish we could be princesses...she is right, of course...but that isn't nearly the tip of this Titanic sinker. Noooo...I'm talking about the kind of corrupted thinking that permeates every facet of your being...not just the odd tiara or collection of princess trinkets. Consider this...looking/waiting for Prince Charming? Normal, healthy amount of Disney influence. Crying oneself to sleep over the lack of a Fairy Godmother or talking animals? Unhealthy. Not that I have done this, specifically, though if you know where I can get either...please let me know.
No...Disney has altered my perception of reality on a much deeper and more profound level. It colours my every interaction. I suppose, if I were one of those deep, thinkie people, it might occur to me that perhaps I am spoiled...perhaps sheltered. Fortunately, I am not one those people...therefore, this is clearly Disney's fault. Disney has taught me that people will always give you whatever you want and take pains to make sure things are perfect. Yet, even though I expect them to, in the real world, people do not always bend over backwards to try to make me happy. Friends and family have been trying to teach me this one for years, but I find if you ignore it, it mostly goes away. Disney taught me the future would have synthesizers and Micheal Jackson promoted to the 3-dimensional rank of Captain in some strange, silver, army...but I'm leaving those alone. Just like everyone else, I've seen Jaws, and I know that because of Jaws, loads of people are afraid of sharks. Not me!!! Thanks, Walt! I've been scuba diving with sharks several times in Epcot and they're quite lovely, thank you very much! Certainly this is not something that would encourage behavior, in my Disney-adled brain, in the wild, that could cause me grievous bodily injury.
But here's where it all came crashing down...did you know that places in cities called "Chinatown" look abso-freakin-loutely NOTHING like Epcot?!?!? I was sooo excited to go shopping...I must have looked like a puppy looking out my window as we neared the neighborhood...and then...wait...what the...why is it all dirty? And it's not pretty and sparkly like in Florida. And it's just so dirty. And why isn't anyone smiling? Seriously...NO ONE!! Not one smile!!! But it's Chinatown!!! I've been there in Epcot a zillion times...it's pretty and clean and EVERYONE SMILES and OMG why is husband slowing down the car? He doesn't actually think this is where we're going? This is a joke, right? The real Chinatown is hiding somewhere and he's just kidding, right? Ok...joke's over...seriously...not funny anymore...enough already. And I look at Husband and he looks at me..."You don't want me to park, do you?
"Uh-uh."
"This is isn't what you expected, is it?"
"Uh-uh."
"You thought it was going to be like Disney, didn't you?"
To husband, "Uh-huh." To myself, "BUSTED!!!"
"You want to go back to the hotel, don't you?"
"Yes, please."
Soooo...thanks Walt! Seriously!
Thursday, May 19, 2011
Is Nothing Sacred?!?
I know I promised to finally do my "Getting to Know Me" post today...and last week...but things got crazy with Husband's work...thus the absence of posts...and today, well, I will write it, but first, I really just need to rant for a minute...I figure I'm entitled (apparently I have "entitlement issues,' but that is best saved for another post) since it's my blog and I can do whatever I damn well please here...evidently to include behaving so childishly as to say "it's my blog and I can!" I'm such a charmer...HA!
So anyway...I'm at the gym this morning and the news ticker at the bottom of the screen flashes "Mickey & Minnie arrested in front of Disney HQ." I was taking a drink at the time whilst on the runny thingie and listening to my Kindle...this is FAR MORE than I have any business attempting at one time, BTW, and when I see this on the ticker, I end up covered in smartwater! Speaking of smartwater...I miss fruitwater, back before they tried to sweeten it and then did away with it all together in favour of vitaminwater...especially the watermelon...OMG...soooo good! Great, now I've made myself sad :( Back to the gym...no, I don't know what the runny thingie is called, I believe "runny thingie" is, in fact, the technical term. So I stare at the muted TV as if I can read lips, and have totally convinced myself that I will know when they start talking about it and be able to ask the trainers to turn it up. This did not happen. I'm pretty sure it was because they never commented on it, and not because I can't read lips. Naturally the second I got off the runny thingie, I'm sprinting for my iPhone to google Mickey & Minnie. And here's where it all sort of goes off the rails in my beautiful mind.
I don't know which group of crazies think the Rapture starts on Saturday, but I'm betting on not so much! What? Calling them "crazies" is insensitive? I'll draw your attention to the "it's my blog" rule. Rest assured that unless I happen to BE the crazy with Doomsday Prophecy and bunker, I will always side with the FBI, ATF, and any other sets of initials I deem appropriate.On that note, for anyone looking to join, "Cult Leader," totally on my bucket list, but I digress...so I hear people talking about the world ending in 5 months while I'm googling Mickey & Minnie's arrest, and to be helpful, "'cause that's how I roll," I offer that they shouldn't worry if nothing happens Saturday because there's always that 2012 silliness. I'm nothing if not helpful, you see. When I see the article about why Mickey Mouse was arrested whilst hearing people blather on about the end of the world...one can only take so much stupid at one time!!!
I get that going green is "in"...yes, yes, it's the responsible thing to do, save the planet...blah, blah, blah...but seriously? It's trendy...at the end of the day, lots of people are all about "saving the earth" because some celeb somewhere is driving a dumbass Prius! Why do the celebs care? Because it's a cause they can take up that makes them look caring and sensitive that's not too icky. Some of you may think I'm wrong, you're entitled, but I'm right...and some of you have never really given the matter any thought and are thinking I make an interesting point. It's a whole new world in my head, people...buckle up! Ha! As it happens, Mr & Mrs Treehugger found out that...horrors...ONE of the fibers that goes into the making of SOME of the paper for SOME of the children's books Disney publishes is made from a tree in an endangered Indonesian rain forest. The very BEST way Sir and Ma'am Genius could come up with to stop this appalling travesty RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE. was to chain themselves to the front gates of Disney's Headquarters! Look...I don't mean to sound cavalier...yes, I do...I'm all for saving the planet...within reason. I buy organic, use the weird looking light bulbs, try to use my refillable water bottles most of the time, recycle (mostly), sort of care about gas mileage...you know...and stuff...but dress as Minnie Mouse and chain myself to a gate to take a stand for a tree halfway around the world? Who are we kidding?!? You got your 15 minutes...go home. Your little stunt in no way helped your tree...but it got you on the news and in the papers and we all know that's what you really wanted.
And that brings us here...with my grasp on reality becoming ever more tenuous...as I try to make sense of this. The Rapture is Saturday...IF you believe the crazy guy, who, BTW, made the same prediction 15-20 years ago and I guess we can all see how accurate he was that time...and for those expecting to be saved on Saturday, I hear there are a bunch of atheist's groups that are offering pet sitting...you can not make this stuff up...and if you're not saved on Saturday then the End of the World is in 5 months. Or...the End of the World is December of 2012. This is assuming, of course, that the end is coming and God has chosen to communicate this to us through a series of raving lunatics. I don't know about you, but I like my odds. Still...if it is coming...and it seems to me, that on some level, a nut is nut, and under a different set of circumstances the tree people could just as easily have ended up the Doomsday people, and perhaps it's a predisposition to that sort of belief/blind faith/obsession that drives them all...maybe it's just a matter of which leader or cause gets to them first. So if it is...WOW...this has been a LOT of blather to come to a point...for what are we saving the world?!?
Seriously!!! If it's the End of the World anyway, who gives a damn about a tree?
Reasonable question, isn't it?
Free Mickey Mouse!
XOXO
~CAT
So anyway...I'm at the gym this morning and the news ticker at the bottom of the screen flashes "Mickey & Minnie arrested in front of Disney HQ." I was taking a drink at the time whilst on the runny thingie and listening to my Kindle...this is FAR MORE than I have any business attempting at one time, BTW, and when I see this on the ticker, I end up covered in smartwater! Speaking of smartwater...I miss fruitwater, back before they tried to sweeten it and then did away with it all together in favour of vitaminwater...especially the watermelon...OMG...soooo good! Great, now I've made myself sad :( Back to the gym...no, I don't know what the runny thingie is called, I believe "runny thingie" is, in fact, the technical term. So I stare at the muted TV as if I can read lips, and have totally convinced myself that I will know when they start talking about it and be able to ask the trainers to turn it up. This did not happen. I'm pretty sure it was because they never commented on it, and not because I can't read lips. Naturally the second I got off the runny thingie, I'm sprinting for my iPhone to google Mickey & Minnie. And here's where it all sort of goes off the rails in my beautiful mind.
I don't know which group of crazies think the Rapture starts on Saturday, but I'm betting on not so much! What? Calling them "crazies" is insensitive? I'll draw your attention to the "it's my blog" rule. Rest assured that unless I happen to BE the crazy with Doomsday Prophecy and bunker, I will always side with the FBI, ATF, and any other sets of initials I deem appropriate.On that note, for anyone looking to join, "Cult Leader," totally on my bucket list, but I digress...so I hear people talking about the world ending in 5 months while I'm googling Mickey & Minnie's arrest, and to be helpful, "'cause that's how I roll," I offer that they shouldn't worry if nothing happens Saturday because there's always that 2012 silliness. I'm nothing if not helpful, you see. When I see the article about why Mickey Mouse was arrested whilst hearing people blather on about the end of the world...one can only take so much stupid at one time!!!
I get that going green is "in"...yes, yes, it's the responsible thing to do, save the planet...blah, blah, blah...but seriously? It's trendy...at the end of the day, lots of people are all about "saving the earth" because some celeb somewhere is driving a dumbass Prius! Why do the celebs care? Because it's a cause they can take up that makes them look caring and sensitive that's not too icky. Some of you may think I'm wrong, you're entitled, but I'm right...and some of you have never really given the matter any thought and are thinking I make an interesting point. It's a whole new world in my head, people...buckle up! Ha! As it happens, Mr & Mrs Treehugger found out that...horrors...ONE of the fibers that goes into the making of SOME of the paper for SOME of the children's books Disney publishes is made from a tree in an endangered Indonesian rain forest. The very BEST way Sir and Ma'am Genius could come up with to stop this appalling travesty RIGHT. THIS. MINUTE. was to chain themselves to the front gates of Disney's Headquarters! Look...I don't mean to sound cavalier...yes, I do...I'm all for saving the planet...within reason. I buy organic, use the weird looking light bulbs, try to use my refillable water bottles most of the time, recycle (mostly), sort of care about gas mileage...you know...and stuff...but dress as Minnie Mouse and chain myself to a gate to take a stand for a tree halfway around the world? Who are we kidding?!? You got your 15 minutes...go home. Your little stunt in no way helped your tree...but it got you on the news and in the papers and we all know that's what you really wanted.
And that brings us here...with my grasp on reality becoming ever more tenuous...as I try to make sense of this. The Rapture is Saturday...IF you believe the crazy guy, who, BTW, made the same prediction 15-20 years ago and I guess we can all see how accurate he was that time...and for those expecting to be saved on Saturday, I hear there are a bunch of atheist's groups that are offering pet sitting...you can not make this stuff up...and if you're not saved on Saturday then the End of the World is in 5 months. Or...the End of the World is December of 2012. This is assuming, of course, that the end is coming and God has chosen to communicate this to us through a series of raving lunatics. I don't know about you, but I like my odds. Still...if it is coming...and it seems to me, that on some level, a nut is nut, and under a different set of circumstances the tree people could just as easily have ended up the Doomsday people, and perhaps it's a predisposition to that sort of belief/blind faith/obsession that drives them all...maybe it's just a matter of which leader or cause gets to them first. So if it is...WOW...this has been a LOT of blather to come to a point...for what are we saving the world?!?
Seriously!!! If it's the End of the World anyway, who gives a damn about a tree?
Reasonable question, isn't it?
Free Mickey Mouse!
XOXO
~CAT
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