Oh, my darlings, how I have missed you!
I've been traveling far too long...and as you all can guess...it's taken a huge toll on my body. Naturally, I managed to pick up an ear infection and despite the ZPac my doctor called in, it's gotten worse, and again I sit with an ear, sinus, chest infection. At this point, it becomes nothing but funny. If we can't laugh at ourselves, what do we have, my friends?
That said, I first attended a wedding...as Best Woman, naturally...not that any of you are surprised, I'm sure. I met some very interesting people in the bridal party, on my side, and the bride's...including the drunkest bridesmaid I have ever seen. It would be rude to tell the story here...but feel free to contact me about it. The wedding itself was amazing, held in PAFA, the Philadelphia Academy of Fine Arts. The ceremony was held on the landing of a beautiful staircase...that's right kids, the groom "forgot" to tell me that we'd enter and exit down a spectacular (read: terrifying) staircase...me, the girl who has balance included in her physical therapy, in 5' Loubs!!! I can't say that I was graceful, but I didn't fall...and for that, I am beyond proud of myself! The guests watched the ceremony from a gallery above and I can only imagine how gorgeous...no, gorgeous doesn't do it justice...breathtaking the ceremony must have looked from the gallery. The reception was held in a separate, large gallery and was simply spectacular.
From there DH and I were off to Daddy's house to rest (and eat cheesesteaks) until J had to leave the following night. After a second night of rest, Daddy drove me to one of my besties for a sleepover, giggles. Let me translate that into grown-up...Father drove me to one of my oldest and dearest friends for a nice long visit. I FINALLY got to meet her son and husband and am positively in love...with her son. LOL! We had nearly 2 weeks to catch up and I can't begin to tell you how much I enjoyed it. Sadly, it was somewhere between the wedding and my visit with them that my infection began. The skyline from her stoop included the Freedom Tower and every time I went outside, I had to catch my breath. Driving to and from her house, was a beautiful and up-close and personal view of Lady Liberty. Daddy picked me up and drove me back to his house. At this point the infection had really taken hold and I missed seeing so many of the friends I had hoped to see.
One day I was feeling a bit better and was able to meet a friend from HS for cocktails. We had a terrific time catching up and, as he works at the official NFL Films, he invited DH and I for tour when DH returned to NJ. It was AMAZING!!! I could have spent a week just taking in the halls! He also managed to get me a tremendous donation for the fundraiser for which I remained in town. It was the Queen of Hearts Annual Aloha Fundraiser...but you already know about that as I go on and on about it.
By the way, I'm looking for donations for our fall fundraiser....Coach Bingo!
It was the QoH 10th Anniversary fundraiser and went sooooo well. A big thanks to all who donated. 2 days later we were headed home to learn just how much worse the infection had gotten and tho I had fun, grateful to be home.
So now you have the short version...I'm back...and as you can imagine, my next post will be about the Navy SEAL who wrote the book and gave a 60 Minutes interview.
I've missed you darlings!
XOXO
~CAT
Showing posts with label new jersey. Show all posts
Showing posts with label new jersey. Show all posts
Wednesday, September 12, 2012
Friday, October 14, 2011
New Jersey: A Primer
Where to begin? So many misconceptions, so little time. People from New Jersey are not terribly entertained when upon meeting someone with the misfortune of having been born elsewhere asks, "What exit? Ha-ha." 5 coming from the north, 4 coming from the south. Satisfied? We do go "Down the Shore," not to the beach or whatever it is you other people do. See? You care what exit we're from, we don't give a damn where you summer. We INVENTED IT...Cape May. Look it up. You watch loads of "Reality" and fiction shows about us...you think you know all about us....but again, notice we're not watching nearly as much "Reality TV" about you...because again, we don't give a damn. Though there are those that would protest America's obvious fascination with New Jersey...I'm just the messenger here, folks...I would point out me thinks you doth protest too much! Check the ratings on the Real Housewives of New Jersey, the Sopranos, the Jersey Shore, etc. Go ahead, make the train wreck argument. But try this on for size, New Jersey continues to be the most densely populated state in the nation, 11th in actual population while being the 47th smallest state. Add to that the fact that New Jersey has nearly 1,000,000 acres of protected wetlands, not to mention the glorious home Mrs. Leeds, the Pine Barrens, 22% of New Jersey's land mass, only partially overlapping the wetlands and only marginally inhabitable...due in no small part to Mrs. Leeds' aforementioned 13th son.
North Jersey and South Jersey are not the same thing. We take that very seriously. People from North Jersey favor New York teams. People from South Jersey know it's all about the Flyers, the Phils, and the Iggles. That's right, the Iggles. Snowballs at Santa Claus and Vet Stadium (as my friend Jim would say, 40 on the curb for the Vet), home to the first on-site court and jail in sports, my friends!!! People from South Jersey do not say "Joisey," nor do we think it's cute when when you do. People from South Jersey drink "wooder." People from North Jersey call it "Taylor Ham." People from South Jersey know that is wrong...and stupid...it's "pork roll."
Being from New Jersey, there is still much South and North (in no particular order) share. For starters, we're from New Jersey...thank you, Jesus...and you're not! (I'm doing the thanking on behalf of my Jewish friends as well, you're welcome.) Bruce Willis, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Grover Cleveland, Jack Nicholson, Buzz Aldrin, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Woodrow Wilson, Judge Scalia...ME and FRANK SINATRA! We actually DO know where Jimmy Hoffa's body is buried...and we're not telling. Wetlands are better than deserts...just sayin'. Most Diners in the world...yummmm....pork roll and cheese on a bagel. 7 malls within 25 miles...BEAT THAT! Hospital waste on the beach? Damn skippy...we like a challenge! Monopoly? You're welcome. First baseball game? Played in NJ. First college football game? Rutgers vs Princeton. Rutgers won. Walt Whitman...a poet, my friends, not just a bridge! That "guido" thing? Not new. It didn't used to require an arrest record (the closest we got was a detention from Sister if our skirt didn't reach the floor when we knelt or our hair was too high) and an STD test...just a perm, a lot of gold, and Sebastian Spritz Forte.
All these things and more unite those of us from New Jersey. Mother Leeds' 13th son...maybe he unites us most of all. You may believe in the Loch Ness Monster, the Chupacabra, or North Carolina's Knobby (don't be sceered DT, he has purty harr), but those...well...maybe, maybe not... Mrs.Leeds' boy, doesn't care if you choose to believe him....he IS. Mother Leeds was known to dabble in witchcraft...and swore that on a dark and stormy night, her 13th child would be born of the devil. When Lucas was born, he looked to all, a normal, baby boy. As the local women put Lucas in his mother's arms, before their very eyes, his feet became cloven hooves, he sprouted wings and a forked tail...his head described in so many terrifying ways I dare not describe them here! He flew from her arms, up the chimney, and has terrorized the Pine Barrens ever since.
This was in the 1700s, mind, and some have said that Lucas grew restless, finding the Pine Barrens too small and has since terrorized further north and west into New Jersey.
There are rumors though...terrible rumors...that Lucas has changed his name...and returned east...
...and had a bedazzeled lollipop named after him. Mother Leeds was right!
North Jersey and South Jersey are not the same thing. We take that very seriously. People from North Jersey favor New York teams. People from South Jersey know it's all about the Flyers, the Phils, and the Iggles. That's right, the Iggles. Snowballs at Santa Claus and Vet Stadium (as my friend Jim would say, 40 on the curb for the Vet), home to the first on-site court and jail in sports, my friends!!! People from South Jersey do not say "Joisey," nor do we think it's cute when when you do. People from South Jersey drink "wooder." People from North Jersey call it "Taylor Ham." People from South Jersey know that is wrong...and stupid...it's "pork roll."
Being from New Jersey, there is still much South and North (in no particular order) share. For starters, we're from New Jersey...thank you, Jesus...and you're not! (I'm doing the thanking on behalf of my Jewish friends as well, you're welcome.) Bruce Willis, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Grover Cleveland, Jack Nicholson, Buzz Aldrin, Thomas Edison, Albert Einstein, Woodrow Wilson, Judge Scalia...ME and FRANK SINATRA! We actually DO know where Jimmy Hoffa's body is buried...and we're not telling. Wetlands are better than deserts...just sayin'. Most Diners in the world...yummmm....pork roll and cheese on a bagel. 7 malls within 25 miles...BEAT THAT! Hospital waste on the beach? Damn skippy...we like a challenge! Monopoly? You're welcome. First baseball game? Played in NJ. First college football game? Rutgers vs Princeton. Rutgers won. Walt Whitman...a poet, my friends, not just a bridge! That "guido" thing? Not new. It didn't used to require an arrest record (the closest we got was a detention from Sister if our skirt didn't reach the floor when we knelt or our hair was too high) and an STD test...just a perm, a lot of gold, and Sebastian Spritz Forte.
All these things and more unite those of us from New Jersey. Mother Leeds' 13th son...maybe he unites us most of all. You may believe in the Loch Ness Monster, the Chupacabra, or North Carolina's Knobby (don't be sceered DT, he has purty harr), but those...well...maybe, maybe not... Mrs.Leeds' boy, doesn't care if you choose to believe him....he IS. Mother Leeds was known to dabble in witchcraft...and swore that on a dark and stormy night, her 13th child would be born of the devil. When Lucas was born, he looked to all, a normal, baby boy. As the local women put Lucas in his mother's arms, before their very eyes, his feet became cloven hooves, he sprouted wings and a forked tail...his head described in so many terrifying ways I dare not describe them here! He flew from her arms, up the chimney, and has terrorized the Pine Barrens ever since.
This was in the 1700s, mind, and some have said that Lucas grew restless, finding the Pine Barrens too small and has since terrorized further north and west into New Jersey.
There are rumors though...terrible rumors...that Lucas has changed his name...and returned east...
...and had a bedazzeled lollipop named after him. Mother Leeds was right!
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Unicorporated Land...NO...Really...
I'm not going to make excuses, today went all kinds of sideways...and well...I'm going to neglect you...ish. Through the Looking Glass part DUH would take far more focus than I have right now...especially when you consider SOMEONE seems REALLY interested in my vino and has also just read up on this blog! I heard him laugh...I'm just not entirely sure if it was AT or WITH... Soooo...ummmm...Cheers?
Stay tuned tomorrow for Through the Looking Glass part DUH...and today we shall cover that pesky little issue of UNINCORPORATED LAND!!! Who has heard of this concept before? Raise your hands? Raise them high so that I can see them!
Everyone with hands raised? Sit down and shut up!!! YOU ARE INSANE!!!
Let me explain how this works...
Do I have your attention?
You in the back...focus!!!
You live in a house. Are we good so far? Yes, trailer kid, this includes you...I'm from NJ and the Mt. Laurel Decisions say so...can we move on? (I'm not into joking about the law, my professor learned this when he challenged me on this decision...so be clear on these Supreme Court Decisions before you think I'm saying something unkind)
You live in a house.
The house is on a street.
The street is in a town/city/township/etc.
The town is in a county.
The county is in a state.
The state is in a country.
OMG...are we there yet?!?!
Do you get the idea???
I thought this was pretty basic stuff. Well, well, well...we have bumped...unwittingly...yet again...into something I do not know about our great Nation. At first, as a newlywed in Florida, I suppose I pretended not to hear the blasphemy...but at some point in Texas...I started to ask questions. Evidently, the beautiful, brilliant, perfect Yankee who had given up hearth and home to go on this wild ride was asking YET ANOTHER DUMBASS QUESTION when she asked DH where a new friend lived.
Yes, I heard the directions...but if I were to, say, want to send a piece of mail...what would I put in the city bit? I know I'm jumping ahead, but 10 years later, and I STILL don't know how to address an envelope to an unicorporated address!!! Moving on..."Yes dear, but WHERE do they live?" Again with the blah, blah, blah... Perhaps this is a newlywed communication issue? I don't read those relationship, self help, whiny books...because, well, I don't hate myself, or my father, nor do I plan to kill myself, or my father...tho he has his moments...but don't worry about him...I'm fair...so is he...Rog and I ALWAYS give each other time to choose a weapon and 10 paces...so I couldn't say for SURE that it was a communication issue...and I really don't care about anyone that would chose to live somewhere that may or may not even exist enough to put a whole lot of effort into it.
10 months in Texas go by and my "where do people live" issues go ignored. I get more frustrated. DH thinks I'm an idiot. SERIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF SUCH CRAP!!! WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE!?!
So then we move to South Dakota...and guess what!!! NO ONE LIVES ANYWHERE!!
The more we move, the less people seem to live places. Right, sure, makes perfect sense. Ok, how did DH get ALL these people to screw with me??? And more importantly, why does he keep getting soooo mad at me when I tell him I have NO IDEA what he's talking about...your bed is in a house on a street in a town...and we covered this...but he gets mad and I'M THE DUMBASS????
FINALLY...not long ago...SOMEONE decides to google this unicorporated land thing.
Bless you hearts!!!
Well, well, well...would you look at that...there is NO SUCH THING in New Jersey!!! Why??? PEOPLE WANT TO LIVE THERE!!!
As it happens, however, in the rest of the country...not so much! So they have all this land that nobody wants in their town...so they just...sort of...skip it! Ta-da!!! Unincorporated land!!! Awesome news for when I finally cross "Charismatic Cult Leader" (still up in the air on the cannibalism part) off my Bucket List...but otherwise? Are you paying attention? I want to be VERY clear so that there is NO mistaking my opinion of...wait...one more time? UNINCORPORATED LAND is STUPID!!! The town you're in just falls off the edge of a map and another town starts 40 miles away and there's NOTHING inbetween? But as there are those 40 miles you drove to get from A to B, someone could live there, they just don't live anywhere, and this make sense to EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY EXCEPT PEOPLE FROM NJ AND YOU PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF US?!?!?
This isn't some crunchy, hippie concept...it's not crystals...it's not witchcraft. You needn't meditate or expand your mind or any of that trash! This is basic stuff!!! Underwear is for UNDER your clothes...and you LIVE IN A TOWN!!!
Look...the first Matrix movie? Not half bad...but at the end of the day? THERE IS NO SPOON!
XOXO
~CAT
Stay tuned tomorrow for Through the Looking Glass part DUH...and today we shall cover that pesky little issue of UNINCORPORATED LAND!!! Who has heard of this concept before? Raise your hands? Raise them high so that I can see them!
Everyone with hands raised? Sit down and shut up!!! YOU ARE INSANE!!!
Let me explain how this works...
Do I have your attention?
You in the back...focus!!!
You live in a house. Are we good so far? Yes, trailer kid, this includes you...I'm from NJ and the Mt. Laurel Decisions say so...can we move on? (I'm not into joking about the law, my professor learned this when he challenged me on this decision...so be clear on these Supreme Court Decisions before you think I'm saying something unkind)
You live in a house.
The house is on a street.
The street is in a town/city/township/etc.
The town is in a county.
The county is in a state.
The state is in a country.
OMG...are we there yet?!?!
Do you get the idea???
I thought this was pretty basic stuff. Well, well, well...we have bumped...unwittingly...yet again...into something I do not know about our great Nation. At first, as a newlywed in Florida, I suppose I pretended not to hear the blasphemy...but at some point in Texas...I started to ask questions. Evidently, the beautiful, brilliant, perfect Yankee who had given up hearth and home to go on this wild ride was asking YET ANOTHER DUMBASS QUESTION when she asked DH where a new friend lived.
Yes, I heard the directions...but if I were to, say, want to send a piece of mail...what would I put in the city bit? I know I'm jumping ahead, but 10 years later, and I STILL don't know how to address an envelope to an unicorporated address!!! Moving on..."Yes dear, but WHERE do they live?" Again with the blah, blah, blah... Perhaps this is a newlywed communication issue? I don't read those relationship, self help, whiny books...because, well, I don't hate myself, or my father, nor do I plan to kill myself, or my father...tho he has his moments...but don't worry about him...I'm fair...so is he...Rog and I ALWAYS give each other time to choose a weapon and 10 paces...so I couldn't say for SURE that it was a communication issue...and I really don't care about anyone that would chose to live somewhere that may or may not even exist enough to put a whole lot of effort into it.
10 months in Texas go by and my "where do people live" issues go ignored. I get more frustrated. DH thinks I'm an idiot. SERIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF SUCH CRAP!!! WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE!?!
So then we move to South Dakota...and guess what!!! NO ONE LIVES ANYWHERE!!
The more we move, the less people seem to live places. Right, sure, makes perfect sense. Ok, how did DH get ALL these people to screw with me??? And more importantly, why does he keep getting soooo mad at me when I tell him I have NO IDEA what he's talking about...your bed is in a house on a street in a town...and we covered this...but he gets mad and I'M THE DUMBASS????
FINALLY...not long ago...SOMEONE decides to google this unicorporated land thing.
Bless you hearts!!!
Well, well, well...would you look at that...there is NO SUCH THING in New Jersey!!! Why??? PEOPLE WANT TO LIVE THERE!!!
As it happens, however, in the rest of the country...not so much! So they have all this land that nobody wants in their town...so they just...sort of...skip it! Ta-da!!! Unincorporated land!!! Awesome news for when I finally cross "Charismatic Cult Leader" (still up in the air on the cannibalism part) off my Bucket List...but otherwise? Are you paying attention? I want to be VERY clear so that there is NO mistaking my opinion of...wait...one more time? UNINCORPORATED LAND is STUPID!!! The town you're in just falls off the edge of a map and another town starts 40 miles away and there's NOTHING inbetween? But as there are those 40 miles you drove to get from A to B, someone could live there, they just don't live anywhere, and this make sense to EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY EXCEPT PEOPLE FROM NJ AND YOU PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF US?!?!?
This isn't some crunchy, hippie concept...it's not crystals...it's not witchcraft. You needn't meditate or expand your mind or any of that trash! This is basic stuff!!! Underwear is for UNDER your clothes...and you LIVE IN A TOWN!!!
Look...the first Matrix movie? Not half bad...but at the end of the day? THERE IS NO SPOON!
XOXO
~CAT
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