A Christmas Wish List Fit for a Princess

In case you were wondering, even I don't have EVERYTHING...
Christmas Ideas Pour Moi...
From The Pink Monogram:

Sunglass Cases

Monogram:
Traditional (First) - C :: (Last) - T :: (Middle) - A
HS - Sunglass Cases : Black
HS Vinyl colors : Light Pink
HS Vinyl Fonts : Time block monogram
price with options: $ 34  

Sunglass Cases

Monogram:
Traditional (First) - C :: (Last) - T :: (Middle) - A
HS - Sunglass Cases : Pink
HS Vinyl colors : Brown
HS Vinyl Fonts : Time block monogram
price with options: $ 34  

Front-wheel drive car mats

Monogram:
Traditional (First) - C :: (Last) - T :: (Middle) - A
Front Wheel set : Front wheel set of two for front seats
Car - Carpet Colors : 182 Taupe
Car - Pattern Binding : 912 Retro Swirl
Car - Fonts : Diamond Monogram
Car - Font Colors : Pink
price with options: $ 85  



From Marley Lilly:

ITEMS QTY PRICE TOTAL Monogrammed Magnetic Pocket Clutch Purse View/Hide options Color: Bronze Select Thread Color: Pepto Pink Select Font: Times Initials FIRST NAME - MIDDLE/MAIDEN NAME - LAST NAME:CAT Initials In this monogram what initial above is for the LAST Name?:T Initials To triple check the placement - What is their full LAST NAME?:Thompson Choose Style: Female Style (LAST NAME Will Go In Center) Can we change your font?: Yes if something else looks better $39.99 $39.99 Monogrammed Rectange Key Chain View/Hide options Font: Times Block Monogram Initials FIRST NAME - MIDDLE/MAIDEN NAME - LAST NAME:CAT Initials In this monogram what initial above is for the LAST Name?:T Initials To triple check the placement - What is their full LAST NAME?:Thompson Choose Style: Female Style (LAST NAME Will Go In Center) Can we change your font?: Yes if something else looks better $14.99 $14.99 Monogrammed iPhone Button Decal- Set of 3 View/Hide options Vinyl Letter Font: Circle Block (3 Letter Monogram Only) Vinyl Letter Color: Pepto Pink Initials FIRST - MIDDLE/MADIEN - LAST:CAT Confirm Details Which Initial above is the LAST Name?:T

So I Was Thinking...Vol I

So I was thinking the other day...I think, by now, we can all agree this is a bad idea...but I swear it was an accident...I received, yet another, of those "Let's see who will forward this," "What's your favorite," "What did you have for breakfast," ridiculous emails.  Little aside...I NEVER forward them!!!  It doesn't mean that I don't LOVE the friends that send the to me...it means...well...when I got to thinking...it means a few things.

It definitely means introspection is not my thing.  Trust me...I'm as shocked as you are!

Maybe it means I don't feel like copying and typing all that stuff because...I just don't feel like it.  It's entirely possible it's a migraine or an RA flare in my hands creating this particular case of the "I don't wannas," maybe I'm in the car or at the gym...or really, I just don't feel like it.

But then I realized...when I was doing that thinking thing...that sometimes, it's none of anyone's damn business!

Why do randoms, to whom the email will ultimately be forwarded, need to know what I had for breakfast?  Why do they need to know what I'm reading?  Why do they need to know...or all of Facebook in my status, for that matter...what color bra I'm wearing....and why do they care?  I assure you, and this applies to even my very best friends, tho of this they are already aware, the ONLY reason I would give a damn about the color of ANYONE'S bra, is that they have visible bra straps...Ewwwww!!!  Outside of my head, I can't imagine my likes and dislikes are THAT life-changing to anyone.

Worse are those that ask for favorites.  That's what really caused all of this "thinking" silliness.  I realized I simply don't have answers to those questions.  They all ask:  

What's your favorite color?  Well, Pink...but I often like to answer Plaid or Argyle...you've got to mix things up...keep people guessing...
But that's an easy one.


What's your favorite food?  Ummmm...I kind of don't know.  Do I say chocolate...I do LOVE chocolate.  Or french fries...but not all french fries because some are soggy or have blechy coatings or seasonings (Can we say Old Bay?!?).  Is a sauce a food?  I mean, do alfredo and bernaise stand alone...or must I choose specifically that which they make the most delish?  What about bacon?  Grams used to put more and more bacon on anything people didn't like because everyone loves bacon.  This particular phenomenon gave birth to the transformation of the previously merely disliked sweet potato to the "God Damn Sweet Potato"...and on the subject of potatoes...yes, potatoes, I said french fries earlier and sweet potatoes now so I'm going there...my blog...you know the rules...double baked...love...mashed...adore...scalloped...well...how can it be that in high school I framed a magazine ad for the potato (because I HATE vegetables) that was a picture of a potato with green paint being poured on it that said something along the lines of "What must we do for you to consider us a vegetable, paint ourselves green" that I find scalloped potatoes...oh dear...I have no words.  Perhaps, yet again, a good time to switch to a fairytale.  Once upon a time, there was a beautiful Princess who sent to a sleepover in another Kingdom.  I was friends with the Princess at whose home I was sleeping...but her mother, the evil Queen...well...she was the type who wouldn't let yet leave the table without cleaning your plate.  The Princess and the evil Queen didn't see eye to eye on this particular issue for a number of reasons.  The Princess is a VERY picky eater and doesn't enjoy anything shy of being catered to.  The Princess had been taught well, by the Queen in her Kingdom, that a proper Princess ALWAYS leaves a bit on her plate.  A Princess owes it to her hostess to make any dietary needs known...generally this task is preformed by minions, but the Queen must've given them the day off.  Poor timing...really, REALLY, poor timing!  A proper Princess doesn't criticize what she is served, but does push the food around on her plate a bit, so as to be gracious give the appearance of eating and not insult one's host.  When the evil Queen asked the beautiful Princess if she liked scalloped potatoes PRIOR to cooking, the Princess firmly, tho politely, conveyed, in no uncertain terms, that scalloped potatoes...tho the Princess diplomatically kept to her self that this extends to any potatoes from a box...that scalloped potatoes were forbidden in her kingdom.  The evil Queen decided to test the Princess' resolve.  Ohhhhh, evil Queen, the Princess may have been a mere tot at the time, but she is the Princess, nonetheless.  I should mention, no judgment...you know me, I don't judge... that the evil Queen is BAD cook.  A poison apple would be step up!  There was, before my time, "the Lasagna Incident," in which, and the details are hazy because pretty much everyone involved ended up in the hospital, that, as I understand it, involved jarred sauce, possibly ketchup, and Velveeta!  Clearly the evil queen missed the memo, because as we sit down to dinner, the Princess' plate was piled high with scalloped potatoes made from a box.  I ate the rest of what passed for food in that particular Kingdom, yet the potatoes continued to stare back at me.  And the evil Queen decided, that the ideal way to teach the Princess a lesson (good luck with that), was to make her sit there until they were gone.  After quite some time...enough so that what had once made a vain attempt at looking like a potato...resembled in both appearance and smell...a cold, congealed mess of sweetbreads than anything I wanted to ever see baked, fried, or mashed again!  Still, the evil Queen thought surely her will was stronger than our heroine, our Princess.  The evil Queen decided to compromise and force just 3 bites down the Princess' throat.  It would appear that the evil Queen also missed the "No Means No" memo.  At this, the Princess decided to give the evil Queen just EXACTLY what she wanted.  Princess chocked down her first bite and while turning unpleasant shades of green, fortunately, our fair Princess looks fab in green, and her gorge began to rise.  The evil Queen insisted on bite number 2.  Princess warned her that bite 1 was not going well.  The evil Queen, refused to listen.  Princess took bite number 2 and gagged the entire time...it was a Royal struggle!!!  Still, the evil Queen insisted on one last bite.  When bite number 3 hit the gag reflex from bite number 2...things got VERY undignified!!!  The henpecked King quickly swooped me up and took me straight to the bath to clean me up...he managed to hide is laughter from the evil queen until we were safely in the bathroom with the door shut.  The evil Queen was STILL cleaning up after the Princess was all cleaned up and ready for bed.  She had also called the King and Queen of the Princess' Kingdom...both of whom had been subjected to "The Lasagna Incident," and laughed all night and the following morning driving out to retrieve the Princess.


So far, we haven't established my favourite anything...ahhh...but tomorrow is another day...and we shall carry on, my friends!


XOXO
~CAT

Tuesdays With Morrie?

Tuesdays with Morrie?  Really?  Ummmm...no.  I am a voracious reader and waste far too many hours of my life on movies.  From these books and movies I have but a few expectations...a "Princess Dos and Don'ts List," if you will.  I have been known to read text books for fun...teach me something.  Murder mysteries...attempt to keep me guessing.  Biographies...inform.  Comedies and Slasher Flicks?  Entertain me.  Documentaries?  Cultivate or broaden my interests.  BUT...on MY terms.  I choose to watch a documentary or biography or read text book.  What I do NOT choose to do...EVER...is read a book or watch a movie in which someone else has decided I am expected to cry and feel and learn some uber important life lesson.  Seriously?  For those not paying attention thus far, I am MILDLY resistant to change, I am SLIGHTLY less than open-minded, and YOU are NOT going to teach ME a lesson!  I am too old and too right for that kind of time-suck.  Young guy didn't pay attention to old college professor with loads of wisdom to impart, like he promised, until old guy was on TV comparing statistics against, Yankee great, the Iron Horse! (For the chronically confused, it's Lou Gehrig, Morrie had his disease, ALS, Wiki it.) In theory, the author would have us read it and be moved and learn some cheesy lesson about not neglecting our elders or cherishing the time with them that we do have.  Nice theory.  Try my theory on for size instead.  Don't be an asshole.  Oddly, this works not only when it comes to following through with keeping in touch with someone like you said you would...and, let me hit the pause button here for a second...Morrie wasn't calling him, either...maybe Morrie didn't like him all that much in the first place and was only willing to spend Tuesdays with him because, at that point, he was too sick to turn him away...ok, play button...call who you say you'll call.  Be kind to people.  Spend as much time as you can with those you love, be it your Grandmom or your Grandson.  Don't be an asshole.  See?  My way works!

Tuesdays with Morrie?  Hell no!  Email with Daddy!  
Rog:  My favorite is "Colossal Stupidity."
Voices in My Head:  It was actually an "An Ode to the Colossally Stupid," but I'll let it slide.
Rog:  Be careful in writing this.  You have a tendency to "speak" over the heads of the "audience."
VMH:  Like you would know, I got my height from mommy...unless my audience is tweedlebugs, I'm nowhere near going over anyone's head...also, it sounds like he thinks you guys are stupid...Diane, don't tell Murphy...this may call for an "Occupy Daddy's House."  Right...because I would camp. 
Rog:  Consolidate and simplify - except where you are using the language so beautifully - don't cut any of that, its great.
VMH:  I promised myself, and you, that I wouldn't self-edit...and...ummmm..."except where you are using the language so beautifully"...hello?  That's ALL of it!!!
Rog:  You might take topics like "Colossal Stupidity" and make them a reoccurring theme. 
VMH:  Again, not the title, and I could sit here and go on and on about how he never pays attention to anything I say...ever...ever...in my whole life...and now that's right in front of him...in writing...he still isn't paying attention...but he would say, "What," and then laugh at me.  I have tried, time and again, to be consistent or have theme days...but I am so ADD I can barely keep it together for one post at a time, forget about weekly! 
How I Actually Responded:  I've tried to do recurring themes...but...the thing is, you just never know when you're going to lucky and T.O. is going to try to kill himself again! 
Rog:  Nobody can do that better than you.
VMH:  Sooooo, you're saying I talk too much?  That I go on and on and on and on...  Moi?
Rog:  You should be writing more than a blog - you write beautifully.
VMH:  Are you kidding?  I should be writing a series of "Princess' Guide to..." shelved right next to the "Idiot's Guide to..." and the "...for Dummies"!!!
Rog:  The paradox is that you can comunicate so well that no one can understand you.
VMH:  Yup...that's the problem.  

I then told him about a post I really wanted to write, but hadn't.  I'm a bit concerned that some of you might not see the humor in the time I stumbled across the ideal situation if I ever wanted to be a serial killer.  It was awesome...just sayin'...  Hmmmm...maybe I really do devote a bit too much time to books and movies.


XOXO
~CAT