I Shouldn't Have Asked...

I Shouldn't Have Asked...

What Happens Next?

I was born and raised in a New Jersey suburb of Philadelphia.  I married into the Air Force and have since lived in Florida, Texas, South Dakota (yes, South Dakota), and California.  I have been pretty much everywhere the continental US has to offer.  That said, I have NEVER seen local news anything quite like the local news in LA.

It was a beautiful morning...I had my coffee...propped up in bed...sun shining...birds chirping...it was about 0630...and I turned on the news...

Oh dear...

It's a standoff!!!  Not an altogether unfamiliar sight on the LA news...which is sad in it's own right, but that's not the point.  There are a ton of police cars, the SWAT team...all of it...surrounding some random house...

They suddenly appear to be breaking down their command post.  Live coverage is suddenly interrupted...

Cut to the talking heads at the news desk.  It turns out, the home was that of a 65 year old woman and/or her brother on whom she had pulled a gun the night before.  Brother escaped from his vicious, gun wielding, sister and called 911.  Enter LAPD.  They tried to make contact with woman to no avail.  Enter the SWAT team.  THEY tried to make contact with woman to no avail.  Then they all tried to make contact with her 15 different times with tear gas!!!  Still she refused to respond!!!  9 hours later, as my lovely green eyes (if I do say so myself, and clearly I do) fluttered open to greet the day, so did said 65 year old woman's blood shot eyes...from her drunken stupor!  That's right, my friends, she was passed out cold and aware of nothing that was going on around her...not the ringing phone, bullhorn, tv crews, helicopters, flood lights, SWAT team, or 15 CANISTERS of TEAR GAS!!!  Now THAT is a hangover!!!

But wait...there's more...

Those newscasters were interrupted by Sky-Chopper-Whatever-Doesitreallymatteranyway...

It's a car chase!  Big shock.  One of the many things I have learned since moving here is that OJ was, to say the least, unoriginal.  It seems car chases are a dime a dozen in LA.  This particular car chase was also relatively low speed, which is a nice consideration to other motorists...I think.  It took place on surface streets and towards the beginning, the initial attempt at a car stop was because the car had been reported stolen, the driver even paused (ish) at stop signs and red lights!  But then it jumped an extremely wide grass median...at first misreported...by the helicopter reporter, btw...as a front lawn...how does one make THAT mistake?  The median jumping landed him on a dead end street where he pulled into the last available driveway.  The homeowners were home, or so the cars in the driveway would lead one to believe, tho they were never seen or heard from, nor did the police ever knock on their door.  The car was surrounded and after a while the driver broke out two of the windows...on his own...with seemingly no provocation.  The police swarmed the car, broke out the windows on the other side, then pulled the doors open, then pulled out the driver.  They moved the driver on the ground to the side and all seemed to just sort of hover.  I watched and waited for some sort of conclusion...


But wait...there's MORE...


Chopper....really...moving on...was interrupted by the anchors back at ye olde news desk who threw to some other random, it has so long ago ceased to matter which one is which it would take a whole different post for me to cover it, reporter so that they could show us a close up...because that's safe...a "suspicious package" downtown!


But wait...I SWEAR...there's MORE...


Cut to Sky-somebody or other...you can not make this stuff up...is on the move again!  And at this point I am finding it soooo hard to care but I absolutely can not tear my eyes away for fear that...well...I'm fresh out of creative ideas for what could possibly happen next...but the helicopter, damn it...here we go!  More police cars...random street.  Wait, that looks kind of like a fast food restaurant.  Well, maybe one that burned down.  And invisible because I ride in the helicopter all day and therefore have bad hair guy announces that it is, or was, in fact a Del Taco.  WAS...right up until 3 idiot teenagers in an SUV drove said SUV right in through the front windows!!!  The SUV caught on fire, which, in turn, caused the Del Taco to catch fire...fire gets put out, everyone is fine, and Chopper-Dude has to pick somewhere else to go for lunch.


It is at this point that I realize I have effectively pissed away the better part of 3 hours!!!  Seriously!  3 HOURS!!!  Gone.  3 hours.  That.  I.  Can.  Never.  Get.  Back.  So I promptly got up and turned off the TV.  Only to find myself rushing to the other room to turn on another TV!  I was struck with panic that I might have missed something!  What if something ELSE happened?  Worse...what if Sky-meister needed me?!?  Horrors!  


It's possible that I may have some issues...but really?  Needing Xanax

What if the guy from Chopper-Sky-News-Action-How-Can-This-Possibly-Be-Real-Life needs me???