Friday, September 30, 2011

My Cupcake cost $1.75

On some level I've always known that there must be at least a few Republicans at UC Berkeley, the Holy Grail of liberal academia (no judgment, merely a statement of fact).  I assumed perhaps a few legacies...maybe a handful of students trying to gather intel on the enemy...sleepers, if you will.  But enough...and out at that...for a CLUB?  Never, in a million years, would I have guessed!!!  As it happens, however, a club there is...and active, too!  When the Berkeley College Republicans caught wind that students were setting up a phone bank on campus to flood Governor Brown with calls to sign the, already passed, SB 185, they knew they needed to hold a counter-"demonstration," in so much as Republicans are capable of holding a "demonstration," rally, protest, etc...

California SB 185 is essentially an end-run around Prop 209 which prohibits "affirmative action."
It would “authorize the University of California and the California State University to consider race, gender, ethnicity, and national origin, along with other relevant factors, in undergraduate and graduate admissions."  What it doesn't do, is provide for any guidelines as to how this information is to be used or require the student's socioeconomic background, or any other factors, be considered as well.  CA SB185 eliminates accountability in the school's admissions process and offers preferential treatment based solely on race, gender, or anything else the school or, frankly, an individual with an agenda on the admission committee, chooses creating an incredible potential for abuse! 

Realizing this, though how the California Legislature missed it I'll never know, the Berkeley College Republicans organized an "Increase Diversity Bake Sale."  Anything that in any way gives one race treatment different than that of another, is, by definition, racist.  The BCR decided to illustrate blatant racism in CA SB 185 with CUPCAKES!  Ok, they had cookies and other baked goods as well, but...I'm all about the cupcake.  The baked goods were sold to "white men for $2, Asian men for $1.50, Latino men for $1, black men for 75 cents and Native American men for 25 cents. All women received 25 cents off those prices."  Wow, SB185 supporters, when you look at it that way, it does appear a little racist, doesn't it though?  For the record, as self-reported by UC Berkeley, White students:  31.7%  Asian:  45.7%  Latino:  11.5%  Black:  3.4%  Native American:  .08%  By the way, I thought they were "Indigenous Persons to North America"  I can't keep up.

How is this supposed to work?  I wish I could be friends with you, Skip, but you'll have to wait.  It would appear I need to add an Asian guy and a Latina first.

So here they are, middle of Berkeley, phone bank encouraging racism being "protested" by cupcakes.  Not to be outdone, the SB185 supporters stage a counter-counter-"demonstration."  Naturally, as it was in their wheelhouse, they started out far more traditionally...marching and signs and the like...lots of Birkenstocks and patchouli.  Clearly the geniuses failed to take into account the fact that all of their marching and shouting and protesting would make it a bit difficult to hear over yonder at the bank.  Soon enough the phone bank got a reprieve from the noise.  Gone are the days of our parents having to step over the unwashed masses staging a noon, whether as part of their protest or as a sign of the times...and laziness...they held nap time!!!  Are you joking?!?  A group, all dressed in black, comprised, statistically of more than 75% white and Asian students, lying down in the middle of campus, during classes, as a form of social protest?  Right.  Nothing about that seems in any way inappropriate or lazy.  Really, really lazy.  Make a little effort.  Though I suppose asking the tie-dye set to make a little effort is shooting for the moon considering their relationship with personal hygiene.

What the SB185 supporters never saw coming?  Let's not make a list...I'm referring strictly to the loud background noise making phone calls difficult thing.  Ok, and the lying down and taking a midday nap being a ludicrous form of "protest" too.  But there was someone who wasn't quite done yet.  The one man, THE MAN, who, above all others, needed to weigh in on the issue, stepped right up to buy his $.75 cupcake!  The UC Board member, the man behind Prop 209...that which prohibits "affirmative action," the founder and chairman of the American Civil Rights Institute...Ward Connerly himself.  (LOVE him!  He's no Oliver North or Colin Powell, and he's certainly not the Duke, the Holy Father JPII, or Ronnie, but...LOVE!)  Take the hint, SB185 supporters, the very successful and influential, and in case no one noticed Black, Ward Connerly is buying a $.75 cupcake because SB185 is racist...just sayin'... 

I still can't quite decide my favourite part.  The cupcakes?  The counter-demonstration?  The counter-counter-demonstration?  The fact that Ward Connerly showed up and the dear, misguided, Berkeley types are still missing the fact that they're supporting racism? think this is it...the fact that a good number of the students supporting SB185 are from any state but California, therefore, Mummy and Daddy get no tuition breaks as they write each check to what they consider to be a cringe-worthy and laughable educational institution...which sonny-boy is only going because he felt the need to "rebel," against his oppressive, dreadful, and otherwise horrific, Jake Ryan-esque, he opted for UC Berkeley...from where, upon graduation, he hit the real world.  Sonny boy lasts about 5 minutes before running home and makes VP of Nepotism at Daddy Warbucks, Inc. by 27 with a mid-6 figure income and a maid that is...kind of, sort of..."undocumented," shall we say, whose son he wants her to home-school so that he won't be eligible for a free education, via the Dream Act, at Sonny boy's Alma Mater. 

And in true Disney fashion, I leave you with this,
"It's the circle of life..."


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