Monday, June 6, 2011

Sheltered, Spoiled, or Sleeping Beauty...

On a recent trip to San Francisco, I learned, or rather, was reminded, of a couple of things about myself.  You may not care the slightest little bit about these things...but you really should, as I find me positively spellbinding!!! 

First...I can actually SMELL PINK at easily 100 feet!!!  Who knew?  It never occurred to me that pink had a smell tho now that I have smelled it, I'm not surprised...nor am I surprised that since it does have a smell, I'm the one that is able to smell it!  We were walking along Pier 39, filled with tons of people and myriad smells, and there it was.  I stopped dead in my tracks.  I told Husband I smelled pink.  He looked at me a little strangely, but as the poor dear has been married to me for 12 and half years, such things have long since ceased to surprised him.  Instead he gives me more the sort of look one might give a child or favourite elderly relative who needs humouring.  I pretend not to find the look insulting because...well, I'm used to it...and, really...I usually have it coming...and start trying to follow my nose like a cartoon bloodhound to the source of the pink.  Surely this was in no way embarrassing to DH.  And there it of those glowing light from Heaven, choirs of Angels moments...and I beheld...the Smell of Pink.  Cotton Candy!!!  How did I not know this?!?  Didn't I just eat cotton candy in Disney Land?  How have I lived all these years and without this epiphany?!?  Rest assured, I now sleep better at night, that grass is greener, the birds are chirpier, wine is winier...seriously...once you smell pink?  The whole world is brighter.

So that was pretty great.

Not so sure about the other thing of which I may have been reminded...or perhaps fully grasped for the first time.  I think Walt Disney has ruined me.  Disney, and it's movies and Worlds and Lands have, world view.  I said this the day I got back and a friend commented that we all wish we could be princesses...she is right, of course...but that isn't nearly the tip of this Titanic sinker.  Noooo...I'm talking about the kind of corrupted thinking that permeates every facet of your being...not just the odd tiara or collection of princess trinkets.  Consider this...looking/waiting for Prince Charming?  Normal, healthy amount of Disney influence.  Crying oneself to sleep over the lack of a Fairy Godmother or talking animals?  Unhealthy.  Not that I have done this, specifically, though if you know where I can get either...please let me know.  

No...Disney has altered my perception of reality on a much deeper and more profound level.  It colours my every interaction.  I suppose, if I were one of those deep, thinkie people, it might occur to me that perhaps I am spoiled...perhaps sheltered.  Fortunately, I am not one those people...therefore, this is clearly Disney's fault.  Disney has taught me that people will always give you whatever you want and take pains to make sure things are perfect. Yet, even though I expect them to, in the real world, people do not always bend over backwards to try to make me happy.  Friends and family have been trying to teach me this one for years, but I find if you ignore it, it mostly goes away.  Disney taught me the future would have synthesizers and Micheal Jackson promoted to the 3-dimensional rank of Captain in some strange, silver, army...but I'm leaving those alone.  Just like everyone else, I've seen Jaws, and I know that because of Jaws, loads of people are afraid of sharks.  Not me!!!  Thanks, Walt!  I've been scuba diving with sharks several times in Epcot and they're quite lovely, thank you very much!  Certainly this is not something that would encourage behavior, in my Disney-adled brain, in the wild, that could cause me grievous bodily injury.  

But here's where it all came crashing down...did you know that places in cities called "Chinatown" look abso-freakin-loutely NOTHING like Epcot?!?!?  I was sooo excited to go shopping...I must have looked like a puppy looking out my window as we neared the neighborhood...and then...wait...what the...why is it all dirty?  And it's not pretty and sparkly like in Florida.  And it's just so dirty.  And why isn't anyone smiling?  Seriously...NO ONE!!  Not one smile!!!  But it's Chinatown!!!  I've been there in Epcot a zillion's pretty and clean and EVERYONE SMILES and OMG why is husband slowing down the car?  He doesn't actually think this is where we're going?  This is a joke, right?  The real Chinatown is hiding somewhere and he's just kidding, right?  Ok...joke's over...seriously...not funny anymore...enough already.  And I look at Husband and he looks at me..."You don't want me to park, do you?
"This is isn't what you expected, is it?"
"You thought it was going to be like Disney, didn't you?"
To husband, "Uh-huh."  To myself, "BUSTED!!!"
"You want to go back to the hotel, don't you?"
"Yes, please."

Soooo...thanks Walt!  Seriously!  

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