Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Unicorporated Land...NO...Really...

I'm not going to make excuses, today went all kinds of sideways...and well...I'm going to neglect you...ish.  Through the Looking Glass part DUH would take far more focus than I have right now...especially when you consider SOMEONE seems REALLY interested in my vino and has also just read up on this blog!  I heard him laugh...I'm just not entirely sure if it was AT or WITH... Soooo...ummmm...Cheers?

Stay tuned tomorrow for Through the Looking Glass part DUH...and today we shall cover that pesky little issue of UNINCORPORATED LAND!!!  Who has heard of this concept before?  Raise your hands?  Raise them high so that I can see them! 

Everyone with hands raised?  Sit down and shut up!!! YOU ARE INSANE!!!

Let me explain how this works...

Do I have your attention? 

You in the back...focus!!!

You live in a house.  Are we good so far?  Yes, trailer kid, this includes you...I'm from NJ and the Mt. Laurel Decisions say so...can we move on?  (I'm not into joking about the law, my professor learned this when he challenged me on this be clear on these Supreme Court Decisions before you think I'm saying something unkind)  

You live in a house.
The house is on a street.
The street is in a town/city/township/etc.
The town is in a county.
The county is in a state.
The state is in a country.
OMG...are we there yet?!?!
Do you get the idea???

I thought this was pretty basic stuff.   Well, well, well...we have bumped...unwittingly...yet again...into something I do not know about our great Nation.  At first, as a newlywed in Florida, I suppose I pretended not to hear the blasphemy...but at some point in Texas...I started to ask questions.  Evidently, the beautiful, brilliant, perfect Yankee who had given up hearth and home to go on this wild ride was asking YET ANOTHER DUMBASS QUESTION when she asked DH where a new friend lived.  

Yes, I heard the directions...but if I were to, say, want to send a piece of mail...what would I put in the city bit?  I know I'm jumping ahead, but 10 years later, and I STILL don't know how to address an envelope to an unicorporated address!!!  Moving on..."Yes dear, but WHERE do they live?"  Again with the blah, blah, blah... Perhaps this is a newlywed communication issue?  I don't read those relationship, self help, whiny books...because, well, I don't hate myself, or my father, nor do I plan to kill myself, or my father...tho he has his moments...but don't worry about him...I'm is he...Rog and I ALWAYS give each other time to choose a weapon and 10 I couldn't say for SURE that it was a communication issue...and I really don't care about anyone that would chose to live somewhere that may or may not even exist enough to put a whole lot of effort into it.

10 months in Texas go by and my "where do people live" issues go ignored.  I get more frustrated.  DH thinks I'm an idiot.  SERIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF SUCH CRAP!!! WHERE DO YOU PEOPLE LIVE!?!

So then we move to South Dakota...and guess what!!!  NO ONE LIVES ANYWHERE!!  

The more we move, the less people seem to live places.  Right, sure, makes perfect sense.  Ok, how did DH get ALL these people to screw with me???  And more importantly, why does he keep getting soooo mad at me when I tell him I have NO IDEA what he's talking about...your bed is in a house on a street in a town...and we covered this...but he gets mad and I'M THE DUMBASS????

FINALLY...not long ago...SOMEONE decides to google this unicorporated land thing.  

Bless you hearts!!!

Well, well, well...would you look at that...there is NO SUCH THING in New Jersey!!!  Why??? PEOPLE WANT TO LIVE THERE!!!
As it happens, however, in the rest of the country...not so much!  So they have all this land that nobody wants in their they just...sort of...skip it!   Ta-da!!!  Unincorporated land!!!  Awesome news for when I finally cross "Charismatic Cult Leader" (still up in the air on the cannibalism part) off my Bucket List...but otherwise?  Are you paying attention?  I want to be VERY clear so that there is NO mistaking my opinion more time?  UNINCORPORATED LAND is STUPID!!!  The town you're in just falls off the edge of a map and another town starts 40 miles away and there's NOTHING inbetween?  But as there are those 40 miles you drove to get from A to B, someone could live there, they just don't live anywhere, and this make sense to EVERYONE IN THE COUNTRY EXCEPT PEOPLE FROM NJ AND YOU PEOPLE MAKE FUN OF US?!?!?

This isn't some crunchy, hippie's not's not witchcraft.  You needn't meditate or expand your mind or any of that trash!  This is basic stuff!!!  Underwear is for UNDER your clothes...and you LIVE IN A TOWN!!!

Look...the first Matrix movie?  Not half bad...but at the end of the day?  THERE IS NO SPOON!


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