Friday, June 3, 2011

These are the people in your (my) neighborhood...

That's right...I went there...I named this post after a song from Mr.'s my blog, damn it...and Mr. Rogers rocked!  But before you go thinking it, all those stories about good ol' Fred?  Not true.  As awesome as he was, he was neither a SEAL, nor was he Force RECON.  He wasn't wearing cardis to cover tats...they really were just a fashion statement.  Sorry to burst any bubbles...he's still an icon to me.

But I digress...

Which NEVER happens...

I thought it might be a good time to start to introduce some of the cast of characters that inhabit my world, shape my life, or may simply pop up in my blog for comic relief.  I have chosen to dedicated this first Mr. Fred Rogers...because I can.

I suppose I should start with Husband...Husband, DH, get the picture...he is my lobster...that's all you really need to know.

Next...Today, there was Crazy Creeper Lady, henceforth known as CCL...I appreciate that you want to be my friend, CCL, and yes, I can happily recommend my stylist, but, what's that you say?  Because you want the same hairstyle as me?  That's...ummmm...not at all SWF and completely freaking me out and OMG this is a really small really isolated town in the middle of the desert the desert where people bury bodies well sometimes they bury them and OMG I am so far beyond the capacity to punctuate and sometimes they dont even bury them they leave them for the coyotes and the birds you know the birds what are those brids that circle around when youre dying in the desert and wait for you to be dead except id already be dead and then they come and peck at your eyes and rip off your arm and fly away with it and then your body parts are scattered across like four states and they cant even find all of you to bury or turn into a diamond which would be cool but it wont matter because they wont be able to find me because what the coyotes dont get will be bird poo on the strip in las vegas and oh dear i think i might have some pretty serious nightmares tonight or maybe i just really need a xanax or a cocktail that could be it

But I digress...

There is'll hear a lot about her...she is my constant source of inspiration.  I have known her for more years than I care to admit and I will know her for at least that many more!!!

My friend A.  She owns the best salon in town and does my hair and waxing and I positively adore her.  Oh I overuse adore?  Might be thesaurus time...but not tonight.  At any rate, she is fantastic, a spoonie, and is going to KILL me when CCL shows up!!!  Did I mention kill?  Do we need to recap the desert thing?  Also, I plan to be buried with Husband in Arlington so the diamond thing is out...however, I really dig the dead person into diamond plan and Mother isn't convinced, so feel free to will yourselves into a diamond for me.  I'll wear you anywhere you want to'll end up buried in Arlington.  

That may sound goulish to some of you but provides a lovely segue to Kiki, my baby sister...who is 7 years younger and about a foot taller...and thinks it's funny to rest her elbow on top of my head...because she can.  I'm the second youngest.  Of two.  We have been splitting up Mother's front of long as I can remember.  We continue to split up all of her new front of her...and have been know to slide phrases like "check your brakes" into conversation if we feel like like she is spending too much of our inheritance.  Kiki will likely comment on this and try to convince you that those comments come mostly from me...but I ask you, if that were the case, would I write this?

Moving on...

Oh, cute little, old, one-legged, Armenian man!  I shall call him my LAM.  He is at my gym and says the funniest things and I positively adore him even tho he exposed me to shingles.  He was waiting to congratulate me the day after Bin Laden was killed, how cute is that?  Every time Sugar Free Red Bull goes on sale he saves the ad and brings it to me...then he reminds me if the last sale was better and I should wait to stock up...he started keeping track of Red Bull's drivers in all different motor sports, even tho I don't follow them all...and today, which is what inspired me to write this...he found a Red Bull magazine and brought it to me!  Could you die?!?  Here is this man, I interact with him 2 or 3 times a week for perhaps an hour at a time, and a simple smile and an ear to listen to his stories...he lost his wife a little over a year ago and they have no children...makes such an impact on him that he notices that every morning I come in toting a SFRB and goes out of his way to make that connection and how sweet is that and could you just die but in a totally sweet really good way?  Check it out...I found my way back to punctuation. 

I would like some more wine and I think that is all I feel like writing tonight...

Cheers and red Loubs!!!


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